Saudade

Saudade... Nothing can stir my emotions more quickly than hearing this word... It is an example of what I love best about other languages. It is one of those unique words that when translation is attempted, it only gets close...but never quite gets the full essence. In basic terms it means: longing or nostalgia which are both great words by themselves that evoke emotion in all of us. However, it does not convey the depth and magnitude of what it means to the Portuguese speakers of the world....For those who come to speak "Saudade" from their own experience, they enter a world that has been described by many poets and musicians as "suffering of the heart". I learned about this early in my life before I ever knew the word. Although Brazil and Portugal call it their own, many identify with it. Third Culture Kids in particular understand the true meaning and anyone that has spent time away from their home abroad that has immersed themselves into the fabric of other cultures....Casual "tourists" do not qualify. This is about climbing into the eyes of a people and then searching until the soul deep within is discovered. For me, Saudade has always been closely associated with "Doce Amargo" which means "Bittersweet". The reason Saudade has found such a comfortable place in my heart is because I spent my childhood making and then leaving new friends, places, cultures, sounds and smells. I never lived those moments casually, on the contrary, I gave my heart and soul to each place and left of bit of myself in each place just as each place in turn left a permanent bit on me. I lived much of my youth "longing" for those memories with a lump in my throat, my heart "hurting good" always feeling a profound sense of gratitude that I could feel and hurt that much for people and culture that was not my own.
Khalil Gibran captured much of this feeling for me in his poem "The Prophet"

Joy and Sorrow

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater thar sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

I recently came across the words of Pablo Neruda, a famous Chilean poet who wrote this incredible passage which caught the essence of Saudade....

Saudade

Saudade é solidão acompanhada,
é quando o amor ainda não foi embora,
mas o amado já...

Saudade é amar um passado que ainda não passou,
é recusar um presente que nos machuca,
é não ver o futuro que nos convida...

Saudade é sentir que existe o que não existe mais...

Saudade é o inferno dos que perderam,
é a dor dos que ficaram para trás,
é o gosto de morte na boca dos que continuam...

Só uma pessoa no mundo deseja sentir saudade:
aquela que nunca amou.

E esse é o maior dos sofrimentos:
não ter por quem sentir saudades,
passar pela vida e não viver.

O maior dos sofrimentos é nunca ter sofrido...

At the core of Saudade is love but only if it is just .... "out of reach".  For the Portuguese, the suffering for them was knowing their best years were centuries ago, when famous seamen roamed the world discovering new worlds....

It is very telling that saudade came from such a maritime culture as the Golden Age Portuguese. Imagine the wives and children of sailors, leaving them for long, mysterious periods of time at sea. Sailors’ families were perhaps the first to feel real saudade, not knowing if their loved one would ever return, but also being proud of their spirit and accomplishments.

What buffers my feelings of saudade during my earthly life is the knowledge that I have that loved ones, regardless of distance or geography will be met again in the next life and I shall feel again the warmth of their embrace, the hole in my heart will be filled with their celebration. I will speak their language and they will understand the soul of me, not just my words. This is what I truly long for... what I have true Saudade for, with the exception that it is now no longer just out of reach, but rather....... just within. Maybe there is another untranslateable word that Heaven uses which is Saudade fulfilled.... something that fills all the gaps that have been beyond our capability here. Could it be that word is Grace? A small still voice whispers to me that it is....... the word that reconciles Joy and Sorrow, that fills the void Saudade creates. Thank God for One special heart that suffered above all others, that our hearts longing could find Eternal rest.