It Takes Time

It's true isn't it? 

Things take time....

I can thing of many experiences and events just in the past year that have brought me to this conclusion.  No matter how fast I want things to go or progress, many things in my life are just taking their own sweet time.....

After being frustrated at initial attempts to hurry things along, I find myself circling back around, over and over again to this truth, that although I have free will and can choose to direct my life, I am simply just not always in control of speed, sequence or acceleration.

Things at work, things with kids, things with friends, things with marriage all seem to setup in a way that is tempering my impatience, elongating my view, causing more humility and allowing me to take on new perspectives that I would not have appreciated had I been able to move at my own pace.

I really like the phrase:  "Slow your roll." It suggests more than just slow down... to me, it invites a more contemplative state, as if to be aware of what is going around you instead of just speeding down whatever life's "highway" you may be on.  

Is it possible that somethings are just meant to take time?

I have a number of friends that have become expert at the art and science of barbecuing/smoking meat.  The more I hear them talk and understand, the more the principle of patience and taking time applies and comes to life for me.  They talk about all the pre-work one must undertake with the right wood, the right rubs, the right spices and then always there is this long process of hours of marination....  by the time you actually get to eat your dinner, it has gone through like 24 hours of careful, painstaking preparation--but the results are amazing!  It is completely worth it they say.

So..... Things take time....

I think about the things we did as parents when the kids were young hoping they would learn early in their lives the importance of certain values and habits often feels hopeless because we expect results much sooner then they are able to digest and appreciate.  It is only years later, after much consistency over time might they come to realize those things you invested in with so much passion, emotion and hope might actually be recognized or appreciated.  When those small moments occur, they seem like huge wins inside!  Years of waiting can immediately disappear with one small  "Mom, thanks for helping me not make a horrible decision"  or the best one  "Mom, thanks!"

Once these little moments start, they seem to trickle in with a bit more consistency and flow.  Each one is like a precious gem.  It is amazing how few a parent actually needs to hear to feel validated for trying to do the right thing....when it seems so easy to second guess ourselves with the "could have, should have's" that never help or take us anywhere good.

I have received a couple of these recently.. man did they feel good!  they melted my heart and burned inside with a warm glow.  Maybe, just maybe I did a couple of things right.... I guess wondering will always be part of being a parent.  Maybe that is what keeps us on our toes, so we remember we are never done, no matter how old they are or even if they leave home.   I don't try as hard anymore, I try to listen more, ask a few more questions back, and then hold my tongue and bring to life this new phrase I am learning... 

Keep chill....and Slow your roll.....More often things tend to turn out better than over analyzing, over orchestrating, or thinking too hard.  (All of which I am pretty terrible at....)

Miyazaki the Genius

I cannot remember how I was introduced to Hayao Miyazaki's amazing body of work.  I just know it was around 2001 and I had no idea how a simple little movie would move me so much and make such a huge impact on me and my kids.  It started in around 2001 with "My Neighbor Totoro."  That was enough!  It was one of the most elegantly simple and pure movies I had ever seen, much less an animated one.  I found it amazingly refreshing, poignant, completely beautiful, innocent and magical.  You could say that I was somewhat breathless by the end. After "Totoro" I couldn't get enough.... 

Miyazaki's serene masterpiece nails the infinite possibility of growing up, the sense of wonder, and the life-or-death urgency that comes along with it.


Incredibly enough, almost every movie that came after that were all so wonderful in each of their own way.  One of the things I love most about Miyazaki is how he sees through the eyes of children, and mostly through the eyes of girls and women.  He doesn't do cliche romance and he doesn't love stomping out evil either.  He believes in a balance of both good and evil.  He understands the tension, and treats it very delicately as informed by his pacifistic position.  He manages to transform you into the child inside with ease, and then he makes you believe you always will be.....pretty cool!  

.......He helps us remember childhood before we forgot about it.

"Is someone different at age 18 or 60?  I believe one stays the same."

-Hayao Miyazaki

Watching his films has been a lifetime journey thus far with the kids.  We often, even know, will pick among his many movies, anxious to see and feel those familiar feelings we know are going to be there, every time, like a super solid bet.  I think I have watched Miyazaki movies more frequently than any other movie.  They transport you away to a place, that doesn't really even seem that far away..... imaginative?  Oh, for sure, but they all seem to happen right around us.  They cause emotions to soar, and they help you articulate feelings you didn't know you had.  You start to empathize with the lead characters.  The hero's are never so powerful, so big, so talented, gifted with powers....rather they are kind, peaceful, curious and caring, sometimes hilarious.... always connected to a cause that you find yourself holding onto unknowingly.  These magnificently brave and courageous characters overcome many obstacles, lots of adversity and usually find themselves at the brink of despair, but always come through because of the purity and kindness of their hearts.  They are just beautiful!

He almost never explains enough... part of his genius is in his understatement.  He draws you in unexpectedly and you are so glad he does.  

Some of his work is serious, tragic, depictions of the consequences and implications of war.  But to me, they are all important. You sense his strong sensibilities towards many things in society, but he never falls into the trap of making sure you understand, he just paints what he sees, and then let's you immerse yourself, and decide for yourself where you stand on the matter.  I have grow a lot more empathy than I ever thought I would for things that are happening around me today in this world.  He is deep, he is serious and he is childlike.

If you haven't sipped from this well, I invite you to do so... please start with "Totoro" and then go from there.... My bet is on the well! 

Enjoy remembering your childhood again....  and again.....!