The Quiet Power

I walked backwards, against time

and that’s where I caught the moon,

singing at me.

I steeped downwards, into my seat

and that’s where I caught freedom,

waiting for me, like a lilac.

I ended thought, and I ended story.

I stopped designing, and arguing, and

sculpting a happy life.

I didn’t die. I didn’t turn to dust.

Instead I chopped vegetables,

and made a calm lake in me

where the water was clear and sourced and still.

And when the ones I loved came to it,

I had something to give them, and

it offered them a soft road out of pain.

I became beloved.

And I came to know that this was it.

The quiet power.

I could give something mighty, lasting,

that stopped the wheel of chaos,

by tending to the river inside,

keeping the water rich and deep,

keeping a bench for you to visit.

-Tara Sophia Mohr

I haven't recovered yet after reading this poem the other day.  It has lingered on my mind and has required more of me than normal.   My brother used to look at art and at times it would pain him to leave as if the painting needed more of his time.   I felt that way with this one.   The metaphor of making a calm lake inside captured my imagination.  It didn't say "find" the lake... it said "make" one.  Very different tone and action.

I knew immediately that I wanted that.... but I knew also in the same instance that I was keeping myself from that place of calm.  I was the one causing my own turbulence in my own soul.  I found myself "owning" up to this fact.  The poem caused me to realize that it is worth the effort to create this calm clear water inside.  Not just for oneself... but as a means of inviting others.  The quiet power of calm.  How incredibly impactful that energy is.  I want it.... now so it can invite others to find a moment to pause, visit and then continue on their own journey.  You know people like this don't you?  It doesn't take long for their names to come to your memory.  They somehow have figured it out.... to not get in their own way.  To have an outward mindset, to build that bench so a visitor like you or me can come and sit and reflect ourselves.  We never feel judged or compared with...   A place where any visitor can dip their soul's ladle deep many times, to drink fully and then leave with lasting impressions.  I love these that have created their own calm lake.  Can I do it?

Yes, the more I think about this quiet power.... I want it... now.   Don't you?  To find a soft road out of pain.....

Let's tend together.

Tell me

"Tell me", he wanted to say,

"everything in the whole world."

In his shoes

I took a walk today.....  It started as nothing.  I had been indoors all day long.  I felt the kick to get up and move.  I went to the closet, fished out a pair of tennis shoes and plugged them on and off I went....

.... It was about 7:30pm and the sky had that very cool golden summer glow about it.  It was warm, but not too much....good warm, if that makes sense.  I had no idea where I was going to go, I totally let my feet just do the thinking for me this time.... It was great.  I couldn't wait to see where they would take me.....

Somewhere in the middle I glanced down and realized I didn't recognize the shoes I was wearing.  I stopped turned one foot to the side and saw the familiar Nike swoosh... "Oh!  These are Braden's" I said to myself.   "Cool!"  They fit great.   That was when things changed.... suddenly my walk turned into something quite remarkably different than what I had set out for...... yes, good different.....

I found my thoughts turning towards and tuning into him.  I imagined him in the MTC, doing the things missionaries do there to get ready for their landing place. As I imagined him this feeling of reverence came over me.  I was walking in his shoes....  Woah!   A very powerful emotion washed over me and it it was important.  I had never done that before..... that is, to try and be Braden for a few minutes....  I felt the magnitude of what he was doing.  His commitment to his Heavenly Father to sacrifice 2 years of his life to go to a foreign country, learn Thai, which is so wicked hard to learn and more importantly leave some very very special people behind to do this... and I am not talking about his family!

For a guy who doesn't share very much out loud with words, I felt a mountain load of what might be going on inside this guy in a flash.  I felt the weight of his love for this gospel, for his Savior and for his God.  I felt his testimony, I felt a lifetime of doing right, of inch by inch preparing for this particular moment.  The more that came to me, the waterfall of emotions cascading down my soul I realized how very special it was that I had put my feet into his shoes for this walk.  It was an honor to put myself "in his shoes", to trigger a glimpse of his life as he sees it.  I couldn't do it very well.  Braden's brain is different than most.  I am not smart to be able to break things down as he does.  So, I pretended to know, to see and to feel what he might but I quickly realized I was so out of his league, it was undescribably wonderful to walk "with him", as if wearing his shoes brought him right there with me.  I loved that idea so much that I started talking to him as if he were there... So silly I know!  But it was so cool.   In fact.... it was quite beautiful.

Have you ever done that?   Try it... I invite you.... go find a pair of someone else's shoes  (that fit!)  and take a walk.  Imagine them with you.  Be open... and let it all come.  I am curious for what you experience and more importantly what you learn from it.

I went for a walk today... I left alone, but I came back not alone....with more than I left.    The best part is I know I can do it again.... and again.  I have a way to find him now, while he is away.  What a great secret to know.

My heart is so full... Braden,  thank you for leaving those shoes...you left a part of you that I can find....

You had no idea did you?