Famous Last Words....

This past Saturday I attended the funeral of my uncle Bill. He was a couple of years younger than my Dad, but always seemed more of a big brother to him. Without going into details, he was an incredible man. His life full of service to church, family and community. Those who gave him tribute spoke of a man that quietly and persistently "endured to the end" and left a large wake of touched lives. I felt so inpsired listening to all that was said of him and found myself unconsciously reflecting upon my own life and then jumping forward in my minds eye to my own funeral...."what would be said of Aaron Brown?"

What would I really want to be said of me? Many things came to my mind in a flash, but they all fell short. I realized that many would probably say things like "he was fun", "always smiled", "easy to get a long with" etc..... As I listened to myself vette these out, I realized it wasn't enough. I wanted to hear stories where I did things for others that went "unnoticed" and anonymous, like I was hearing about Uncle Bill....I wanted to hear stories from my kids that said "I watched my Dad help others and led by quiet example" or "My Dad often gave more than he really had the means to give". I didn't want to hear about "things" but rather a lot about "people".

I was very grateful for a few quiet introspective moments that helped me sift all these thoughts and recalibrate my heart and priorities. I realized it was time to shift into a gear higher than every day mediocrity and stretch myself to do more, but quietly. To love for charity sake, not because of duty or because someone would notice. I left rejuvenated and realized I understood that funerals can provide a wonderful opportunity to evaluate oneself--to take stock, check and measure where one stands. Not compare....but rather, take the best of those who have passed on and strive to apply it to our own lives to be better. Thank you Uncle Bill for a consecrated life of enduring example. I won't get up at 4am and milk cows like you did, but I can certainly do better in my own modern realm.

Thanks Mom, for Dance...

I recently attended a high school reunion in D.C. and couldn't wait for the pinnacle activity of the event: "The Dance". It was incredibly fun and most of us didn't want it to end. I love dancing and can't remember when I didn't. I am not sure why, but I find it interesting.... What is it about dancing that makes me feel what I feel? If I were an alien sneaking a peek at our world and saw a bunch of people moving and contorting to loud noise I would probably re-think any invasion strategies. I have often wondered why certain songs can actually make my body move impusively and unconsciously often resulting in a sense of excitement, exhiliration and sheer joy. It is a wondrous thing I think, which I owe to my mother.

She was a professional dancer. She taught her 6 kids all styles and techniques: ballet, tap, charleston, swing, fox trot, square dancing and yes, even synchronized swimming.... She instilled in us a love for all styles and often she would look for any excuse to get up and dance, even if in a restaurant. I loved her uninhibited way of expressing herself through dance and I would like to think I have been "imprinted" by her. It was the creative process she loved and then to see her joy in watching her students perform was something to behold.

Some music is great as background to conversation, or just to "chill" to, but some music is designed to specifically be expressed on the dance floor preferrably with one's best friends. That is what I experienced last week. "Freak Out" says Le Chic...well, they definitely got that right!!

Dancing with my good friends from EAB High School (Brazil) is more than casual dancing...it is an extension of our friendship and ultimately a group celebration of life itself. Thank heaven for music and dance....it makes the dance of life so much more sweet! ......and thank you Mom for the music you made in my life...I miss you.

Life's Monkey Bars

I went on a spur of the moment bike ride with my two youngest today; Braden (10) and Alexa (8) and we decided to bike over at their former elementary school. We had a fun time playing follow the leader and chasing each other all around the playground and parking lot. Then when it was time to go, Alexa said "Just a minute Dad, I have to go do something". I wondered what that might be. She sped off to get on with it with deliberate urgency.

I came around the corner and saw her scaling across the monkey bars hand over hand. She made it across and said at the end with great gusto "I did it!!" Having seen her scale many monkey bars before I wondered what was different about these. I asked her. She said that she had never been able to do it here before she transferred schools. I understood. She had tried and tried and tried to cross while there, but never could. In that moment my heart did a little jump for joy, for her.

This had been on her mind for almost 2 years and she was intent on not leaving any unfinished business. She was going to get her goal and she did. I was so impressed with her sense of wanting to accomplish that, the urgency she felt and desire to fill a gap and not delay further.

It was such a brief and small moment, but it left a lasting impression on me.

What gaps have I not closed? What have I left undone?  Do I have what it takes to create the urgency sufficient to "finish" the things that are still undone in my life, now.. not later? As I reflected more on this I found that that there were a number of things in my life that I had not taken care of yet or “finished”.  There were relationships not yet mended… goals not achieved…. mistakes not corrected….sins not repented of completely…... Do I have what it takes to create the urgency sufficient to "finish" the things that are still undone in my life, now... not later?

As I have reflected on this my mind turned to the scriptures. There are many great examples and stories of others who also experienced their own reflective moments on this topic. The apostle Paul wrote in 2 Timothy 4:7:

"I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith"

Then, the best example of all, Jesus found himself near the end of his course, he was in the Garden of Gethsemane and offered the most sublime intecessory prayer as he atoned for the sins of the world.  In John 17:4 he said:

 I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.

Then, the final closing remark of his life was in John 19:30.  He was the ultimate "finisher".....

 "When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost."

We all have our own fight, our own course and our own faith to find and finish.  I have often found myself wanting to skip to the end, look for shortcuts, or wander off on seemingly interesting side roads that can be distracting to my real purpose and path.....

At the end of the day, there is no question what I need to do.  I have been given a clear line of sight.  I know this inside of myself.  I feel as if Heaven has confirmed it.  I have to follow Alexa's example, even if I missed somethings here and there along the way, I am reminded by all the examples above that I can still "finish" no matter how many times I fall when trying to cross the monkey bars of my particular life.......

Until then, thanks Lexi, for a beautiful small moment and your example of finishing what you started.