So....I find it interesting that certain big cities have their own way with me....ok, that sounds a bit weird...but it is true. In Amsterdam I ride bikes everywhere, in Paris I metro all over, see the sites, stop in at a cafe and watch people. In Munich I drive the autobahn and find a great bierhaus and make dinner last all night. In Jakarta I immerse myself in the pungent markets, bargain for curios and shop..... In Shanghai you get a car and a guide and go browse 200 tailors shops and bargain for hours until you find a complete custom suit for a $60.00 completed overnight.....ok and then stop in for a little neck and shoulder massage. In Brazil it is all about the beach, churrasco and dancing all night long.
NYC, it has always been about long timeless walks for me. Even though the first time was all about seeing the sights....I had long walks going from one to the other. There was so much to see, so many sounds it is as if the city "requires" you to be on the street.
It is January 23rd, I am standing on the sidelines, getting my bearings, setting the grit in my jaw, gauging the pace of the never ending stream of people and calculating the right first step.........I slip into the fast paced stream of the streets. The ever present sounds of industry and traffic are ever present, but in a short while they all seem to fade into background ambient white noise. The steam of the cities' underbelly rises from every vent and grate as if an active volcano is reminding you that the city's heartbeat is very much alive and just below the surface. I start walking briskly, to keep up with the flow and energy.
Everyone is in black, except for me... I have my 80's black and white tweed extra long overcoat (Dick Tracy-esque....yes people tease me, but I love it) pulled around me, tied at the waist with my collar flipped up around a wool scarf. I am warm, but the artic wind gusts unpredictably and whips at my face and ears, giving me an intant full body chill. I am going to have to quicken my stride in order to get into the necessary groove and vibe of the flow. I start at 48th street and head east for 4 long blocks. Right before I turn left to go north, I have found my stride and am in a drafting position--ready for any slight change in the "peloton" of people all around me...people are in the own worlds although only inches apart.. cell phones, texting, eating, reading, living their lives as they walk. They only sleep for a few short hours in the studio boxes high above the teeming life of the sidewalks and streets. It is in the street where they truly "live". Although I am able to keep up with the pace, I know I don't belong...it is not my "country" and I am just an alien observer taking a snapshot of someone else's world. But the energy is infectious and I want to be a part of it...so I walk on.....
I head towards 69th Street. As each block passes I transition from watching everyone else and begin to recede into my own thoughts. I find that in no time at all I am lost deep into my mind's eye playing out stories of what it might be like if I lived there....what would I do.....who would I meet and what would I see and eat.... would the city "harden" me? ....Would I get burned out?.... would NYC live up to it's reputation. This particular night I meet a wonderful friend of a very very close friend. We find a small quaint wonderful Italian place and share an authentic margherita pizza... the tomatoes and cheese are just right....the basil and olive oil complete the circle. We talk for hours about our mutual friend. Time stops for a while....the the inevitable phone rings... kids need tending and friends need to leave.
I find myself back on the streets with a long walk back to the Hotel. I relish the idea of losing myself again in my thoughts, now fueled with a brand new moment to fuse into my existing memories. I contemplate the beauty of friendships, how one simple connection can lead to so many others....how we are all really all connected in one giant web....we just don't have the time here to meet everyone of us, so we reach out and make memories with a few choice ones a long the way.... and hope that is enough to get us through.
As the late night noise lessens around me, my thoughts deepen, I am now living the lives of my two friends... two friends who have found each other and have been together for many years, but never really together... My mind plays out scenes of their lives...completely randomly...I can see each of them vividly in specific situations, imagining how they found each other, how they have become close and the things that keep them from becoming closer. My mind wanders as if it knows where it should go, unaided by any scripts or prompts....it takes me to places that shed light on what might make them tick, I can all of sudden see why they form the opinions and thoughts they do, I can see it from their perspective, I can almost feel their joys and pain.....and I find myself with wet eyes realizing that they have so much to offer one another yet they aren't able to see what I can see in my mind, because they can only see themselves.
I feel my heart hurting a bit....with the realization of what "could" be...but probably won't be... It is heavy feeling that seems to match the cold city and icy wind.....This is NYC, it isn't bright and "fun"...it is brutal and true. Ironically, I realize that I don't feel sad a at all but rather a rich sense of melancholic honesty...a hurt that still feels "good" because it isn't sugar coated -- just like the City.....A refreshing look at what is "real" and not what is "ideal". I am not sure why it only happens here... all I know is that walking in the Big Apple brings out emotions and feelings that mean a lot to me.....
