The Magic You are Looking For....

 What would your reaction be, if you heard this.....

The Magic you are looking for...

is in the work you are avoiding...

I would love to to have seen your face in real-time, in person, ao vivo!  I would have like to have seen you think for a minute as the words sunk in... As they found the right places in your mind and heart.  I would have loved to have seen your expression the moment it all made sense, in a flash instant.  Do you experience the sudden knowing like I did?  Or, did you have to reflect longer, maybe a day later when the haunting words that couldn't escape you finally landed.  

It if took longer I bet it was because you knew exactly what it meant... you knew that it hit the spot, the core of what makes you tick.....or not.  It hit that place that you have kept covered, spent time hiding, or tried to avoid all this time.  Or maybe, in your case, it was something dormant or unknown until these few key words shed light and were the keys to discovery, just like a light shining on something new you weren't aware of until now....

Or has it been many days now that you haven't been able to stop thinking about it.  Or is this going to be just one more quote from a million of others that pass through quickly and land in the landfill of all old quotes? One that you can't quite remember years later but somehow still has a flicker of familiarity?

If you find it lingers, you have my interest.  You have my curiosity.... I am dying to know what your work might be....I think about what it might be.....something dark, something light, something lost, something found, something painful, something joyous, something spiritual, something worldly, something desperate, something peaceful.

As for me, Wow....this gobsmacked me something powerful.  It shook me to my core.  I had to remember to breathe for a minute after reading.  It seemed to soak into my soul so quickly and found all the right places.  I knew in an instant what it meant and never had I heard truer words.  

to me...it is about:

1. Finding Grace

2. Forgiving myself and others

3. Making Peace with the raging fires within 

4. Accepting Healing

5. Holding onto truth

6. Letting go....and trusting Him.... letting go of fear

7. Not just listening to the still small voice, but finding ways to act quickly afterwards

8. Welcoming discipline in my life with a different mindset

All of these things I need so much....and in the end they all lead to a single solitary inevitable source.

At the end of the day, there is only one answer to me.  It is finding Christ.  He is the magic, he is the source, he is the well of never ending thirst.  He is the only balm that heals, that softens the mortar of hard brick walls we build to avoid him.  He is the only inevitable thing that ever will be.  He makes magic real, because He is magic.  He did the impossible, the unthinkable, the unfathomable.   He defies all description, His majesty unmatched.  They called the 3 Wise men who visited Him "mages".... Isn't that interesting.

Yes, the work both you and I need to do I believe, is about Him.  What keeps us then, from experiencing such a thing?  Just us....that's it...only us.  It is difficult to take this quote seriously and not feel like doing something about it.  It is like and affirmation that we didn't even know we needed, but immediately recognize as something we need to do..... at least, that is how I felt.  It will now haunt me as it should.  Would it be wrong for me to want the same to be for you....?

What if.....we decide to say these words again, I ask you... Shall we not act together, and do the work we need to do?  Shall we not find Christ together, you and I.  And then in some soon day coming, we can sit on some steps somewhere, and know that magic has filled our lives because we confronted the demons, the darkness, the dungeons of our fear and have done the work needed to save ourselves.

I know I need all the magic there ever existed, to get to where I want to get to.   I hope you do too....

Salute to Coco: Humility in Victory

I recently watched the 2023 U.S. Open Finals match between Coco Gauff and Aryana Sabalenka.  Oh my... what a match! 

I had seen both of them play before and know they are both great.  I thought for sure, as did most, that Sabalenka would win the match.  She is a beast, tall, super strong and hits the ball harder than anyone else in Women's tennis right now.  You can see her picture there.....as the band Men At Work would say:  "She is full of muscle"... (Land Down Under)

It was seriously one of the best matches I have ever seen....and one the most emotional as well.  Sabalenka won the first set pretty handedly.  Somehow Coco found her footing and fought back to win the second and then sustained her momentum and won the 3rd and the match.  Her first Grandslam win.  It was really something else.  What is unique about the U.S. Open is it is hosted in NYC and most of the best matches are played at night.  The NY crowds are really amazing.  They cheer like no other.  The crowd felt every emotion of every shot from the start to the end.  Of course having a hometown favorite in Coco helped quite a bit too!

I was already sitting on the edge of the couch watching this match. Just when you did not think there was no way Coco could come back she started doing little things that won her points and started to frustrate her opponent.  Coco does have one superpower -- just like Carlos Alcaraz, the newest best men's tennis player does..... the abilty to play defense better than anyone else.  Coco kept getting balls back that normally would be easy winners for Sabalenka.  It was almost like she couldn't believe that these power balls she was banging across the net kept coming back time and time again.  It was like it wore her mentally out.  Coco, was relentless and always kept her cool.  You can probably imagine the crowd eating up how well she was running down impossible shots and getting them back.  They went wild!

So when Coco broke Aryana in the 3rd set everyone started to reliaze she could win this thing.... and she did!  It was incredible.  Very David and Goliath-esque, (minus the permanent death thing).

The announcers were so excited, the crowd on their feel and I felt the familiar emotions rise up in my body and into my eyes.  It was so cool to see the underdog overcome and with such style.

After falling to the ground in joy after the winning shot, she jumped up and literally ran with body guards up into the stands and hugged her parents, coaches and friends.  She came back down and thanked the crowd and then she did something I haven't really ever seen done as intentionally as this.....she went over to her chair, and knelt down and put her hands up and it was obvious she was saying a prayer.  The camera stayed on her for a few seconds and then pulled away. It was almost like an invasion of her privacy....

I was already emotional, but once I witnessed this I was overcome a bit with a different kind of emotion.  It was spiritual, it was private and very sacred despite being on the huge stage she found herself.   

Her simple but very deliberate act of giving gratitude to God was so prominent in her mind.  It was like, I don't really care if there are 10,000 people in the stands, still clapping and cheering, I have to let Him know how grateful I am.  

I have often heard many artists, musicians, actors thank God when they win awards.  I am sure you have too.  But this was different.  This wasn't an outward reference for the camera, it was an inner one from the soul. It was very much as if she could have been alone in her own room with no one watching at all.  

Can I just say how much I loved witnessing that as it was happening live. I saw the sequence of everything that led up to it.  My respect for her grew 10 fold......I forgot for a moment that she was actually a tennis player and that this was a major Grandslam event in her sport.  I found myself wondering what she was saying.  I knew there was some "talking" going on.  This wasn't a quick hand gesture of the sign of the cross and a look to heaven that I see most athletes do. When she knelt I remember saying out loud in the room by myself "Oh...she is going to pray!"  And then she did, and the next thought that came immediately to my mind was "Oh, how pleased must God be with her."  The parable of the 10 lepers came to mind... only one came back to his healer and gave thanks.  The others were just basking in the victory, missing the whole point of the "win" which was actually finding gratitude and humility vs what the world would call the victory.

The TV announcers finally had their change to ask Coco about her praying..... here is what she said:  

“.....I realized God puts you through tribulations and trials. This makes this moment even sweeter than I could imagine […] I don’t pray for results. I just ask that I get the strength to give it my all. Whatever happens, happens. I’m so blessed in this life.”

 I learned a bit later that before every tournament she prays with her father that she and her opponent will be safe..... Pretty cool.... pretty sweet, no?

I found her authentic and proud to share her faith, but not in a loud or "preachy" sort of way.  The way that I often feel I would like to share but hold back.  She didn't pray to win.... but I do think she prayed to be victorius but I think to her that meant to win with God, to win with humility and gratitude knowing full well His part of that victory.  She didn't even stutter on that one!  It was clear who she was aligning with......and it wasn't the world, it was Heaven.

I don't think I will ever forget that match or that ending.  It was powerful to me and yet so simple.  

Well done Coco Gauff, I am so inspired by you.  

So much so that I started searching other athletes of faith.  There are so many!!  It lifted my spirits to see these champions acknowledge God for their success.  One who really stood out to me was Sidney McLaughlin, the Olympic Gold medal winner of the women's 400 meter event.  She is something else.  I remember her winning this race so well.  This is what she posted after her historic run:

 “I pray my journey may be a clear depiction of submission and obedience to God. Even when it doesn’t make sense, even when it doesn’t seem possible. He will make a way out of no way. Not for my own gratification, but for His glory. I have never seen God fail in my life. In anyone’s life for that matter. Just because I may not win every race, or receive every one of my heart’s desires, does not mean God had failed. His will is PERFECT. And He has prepared me for a moment such as this. That I may use the gifts He has given me to point all the attention back to Him. 2x Olympian, Olympic Champion, World Record Holder, Thank. You. God. 🙏🏽”

 

I am already in so much awe when I watch physically gifted athletes.  They are truly beautiful to watch!  but my respect meter is what really surprises me more and more when I see how certain athletes win, not what they won.

Jogo Bonito: The Beautiful Game

 I never knew what hit me....it took my legs out from under me.  His words literally took the breath out of me, like getting a soccer ball kicked in the stomach point blank unexpectedly.  

I was on my back, lying in the grass, people all around me looking down.  I saw the sky, there were some scattered clouds.... I could feel individual blades of grass pricking my fingers and arms.   Nothing to do but to gasp and wait for air to return while my senses were scrambled.

As I lay there the words flashed back.... those words that seemed so strange and foreign, yes, like a different language that my heart couldn't understand.  I couldn't compute...slowly, the words sunk in and registered.....down deep.  This wasn't just an errant kick...this was game over.  Strange, I wasn't even keeping score.... but I guess he was.  

What was it that he said...?  Oh yeah, that I was "getting better."  I knew I was trying so hard....but something was terribly wrong.  How could this happen just 30 days before the wedding...?  How come I didn't know sooner....  Could I have fixed it had I known?  What kept him from being truthful sooner?

You can imagine all the questions that besieged me, like a swarm of bats leaving a cave at dusk.  After giving him my heart, my love and my resources freely....  Oh what a fool I was, I thought... why did I give so much... even those moments of intimacy, all based upon a pledge and promise of unity? 

It didn't take long, my teammates and coaches came to my rescue.  They helped me up off of that turf, brushed the grass off, rubbed my knees for a minute, wiped my eyes, and then trotted off the field.

I didn't feel like playing for a bit.  I felt sadness and regret for my part of the mess.  I wasn't playing my best game, but I was hoping he would help me with that. In the end, he couldn't, he wasn't honest and he wasn't ready.  

If one decides to play at a high level, the games get harder, and players have to risk more in order to win.  I had a lot to learn about playing at that level, just as in life.

Feelings of loneliness and sadness evolved into courage and conviction, of who I was and what I could become.  I circled myself with believers, those who could truly see the player I could become.  I turned to Heaven and wrestled a bit with God.  Was he there I wondered for a few moments.....?  Why did I have to learn in such hard ways I wondered....? I wasn't sure of the answers, but I stuck with Him and He started to clear the path and brighten the road ahead.  I started seeing further with more clarity... I looked briefly behind me and saw smoke and mists that may have clouded my play.  I decided to not look back again, only forward, and with the brightness of the road ahead, I picked up my pace, held my head up, set the grit firmly in my teeth, and started moving forward, picking up speed like a locomotive building steam, creating momentum and gaining ground.

I stepped onto the pitch with a new outlook and felt the energy through my body.... This felt familiar, this felt good to play again with such a new perspective, a new mindset.  I shed the past with each step, and when I struck the ball it felt strong, as if renewed.  I played with new confidence that I hadn't possessed or believed in before.  It flows more effortlessly with each passing day....

Yes, that particular game could have been beautiful, but it ended way to early...... I guess he will never know.  I have no regrets.  No, I am not bitter, maybe a little madder because I see now some things through the fog.....but that is turning more into this hopeful kind of sad which is a pretty good description.  I am not 100% yet, but I am not the same player now, and know I am willing to do the work to win the long game.  

Funny, it is starting to occur to me that maybe, just maybe the best thing that ever happened was the brutal blunt kick in the stomach.  The one that ended that game.  The one which seemed like the best one ever.... Not so much now I think....No, I see a different game now.... a truly beautiful game, Yes!  It will be as the Brazilians say... "Um jogo bonito."  Maybe then...... I can leave this sadness behind and embrace just the hope of all things again.

Let Me Sit With You in Darkness

 

“Sometimes someone isn’t ready to see the bright side. Sometimes they need to sit with the shadow first. So be a friend and sit with them. Make the darkness beautiful.”― Victoria Erickson

I have heard of people who do this...I have always admired them. I have never felt I have done this very well.  I almost always find myself at a loss, because words don't work or don't seem to matter in the dark moments.  People never really hear them as they are intended, they are like dead darts that drop to the ground, unnoticed, dissipating into nothing. 

Learning to shift the energy from my mouth to my heart has been a lifelong pursuit.  To silence the lips, push back all the carefully crafted words I love to form so quickly and swallow them is most difficult.  It is in these moments when even if your words are good ones, true and right, it doesn't matter......they are wrong.  

Anytime two people set out to add a child to their union they will most certainly be confronted with many moments when they will be confronted with a variety of dark places and suffering  The first impulse is always to fix.  Isn't that what having life experience is all about?  To learn how to solve increasingly more complex problems as they accumulate in life?  How ironic, that when the darkest suffering comes, less is more..... despite having more wisdom from experience.  Maybe the greatest lessons of suffering are not about how to successfully navigate and overcome them.... I wonder more now if it is more about just having much deeper compassion, understanding, and unconditional empathy for others.  As if the deeper that well is the better....not a full box of tools to better "fix" people.

Learning how to "sit" with them in their grief is a herculean feat.  The conviction required to resist the almost overpowering force to take on their burden is nearly impossible.  Isn't it okay to want to take on someone else's burden?  To lessen the pain?    I grew up with a particular scripture in mind that said 

"Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God." Mosiah 8:19

In fact, I am reminded that I made a promise, when I was 8 years old to do this.  This scripture was part of my decision to be baptized.  This was one of the conditions of that covenant.....That I would somehow figure out and learn to sit with others in grief and darkness as a way to mourn with them when they mourned and to comfort those in need of comfort. I can tell you right now that message didn't sink in until many years later.   I learned that it becomes easier to mourn with others when you yourself have passed through fire and hellish experiences.  In fact, It is almost impossible to do it genuinely without having your own fair share of disappointment and discouragement.  I can say, that when I have tried to apply this scripture as authentically as I can over the years, I have seen it work. 

The best way to describe this principle and promise is to experience first yourself.  Think about one of your worst moments, you might have been sad, heartbroken, or distraught with despair...... Was the only thing that made it okay something so small or simple as a knowing smile, the hug that had a little extra in it, the tears in a friend's or parents' eyes, that came without words reflecting some semblance of understanding?  It wasn't the profound words someone said at the moment, was it?  Often, words come landing softly later, connecting the dots and finding a home of meaning, but not usually in the midst of the darkness.

Another thing I have learned is that it is often easier to model this with friends but much more difficult with your own kids.  If you haven't built up a pattern of sitting with them in their grief vs. talking your way through solutions then it isn't surprising parents are so ill-equipped to change their approach.

At times darkness arrives as adversity, persistently knocking on our front door begging to be invited in, other times we invite it in quickly through self-inflicted choices.  And there are those times when it comes unsuspectingly, cutting through the heart so easily beating the living breath out of us and knocking us flat on the floor.

It was poignant to read about Job in the Old Testament recently.  He didn't ask for his trials, they were heaped upon him as a test of his faithfulness.  I read with more interest than ever before when his friends gathered from afar, tore their robes, and just sat with him for 7 days.

 So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great. Job 2:13

I closed my eyes and tried very hard to imagine being one of them and what that would have looked like in real terms.  It was powerful to role play in my mind's eye what I would have felt after barely recognizing him with the boils on his body and face much less the loss of all his property and family.  The jaw-dropping scope of his loss is almost unimaginable to comprehend.  Then I thought about 7 days...not 15 min, not 2 hours, or even 8 that they spent.  But 7 days.  I loved that the author put a timeframe in there.  It came to me that it wasn't about an exact time, but rather it was very much about the commitment and diligence in living that covenantal promise.  Feeling truly sorry for someone is human, sustaining the ability to mourn with others over time is Godly.

Yeah, I am an adolescent in this space.  I would very much like to be an expert right now, because there are those.......yes, those that are so dear to me that I would gladly trade my place with theirs, to escape the biting winds of doubt, the terrible feelings of loneliness, or the crushing weight of confusion they are experiencing.  The dread in their gut is almost paralyzing.  Oh! That I could take that upon myself and give them relief....  But that isn't the answer.  If that really could be done I understand now, that I would only be robbing them of the experience they need to travel in the dark, to feel the weight, to walk with confusion so they can ultimately know of the relief that comes from such travels.

Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD shall be a light unto me.

Wherever you sit, I shall sit with you.....wherever you feel alone,  I will be close by, just out of arms reach, but close enough.  So, I will look for you there.... I will rent my robe, fill my eyes with tears, and sit silently with you in your grief. Whether it be 7 seconds, 7 days, or 7 years.  

When you feel the pangs of what might have been, I will take that ride with you, knowing that it is futile maybe somehow we can find beauty in the dark, suffering together knowing that it will lead to light, to Him, the only one that can take our burdens and replace the darkness with light.  

Yes, maybe it is worth it after all if that is where the end game leads us.  

Alert: Clear and Present Danger Ahead

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my distinct privilege to present: 

Alexa Chelta Brown

Take a peek, Yep.... Little Lexi Lu has gotten all grown up and is about to launch her new career as a flight attendant for Delta.  Tomorrow she leaves for Atlanta, GA for some heavy duty training for about 2 months.  She is ready to rumble into her next adventure.

This will be the first time she has truly left home.  She has traveled the world but this is a bit different.  This isn't just about a fun trip, no, this is about her career.  Serious business, no? 

As I thought of a good title for this post, this one kept coming to me.  I couldn't think of a more fitting statement to title this post.  She is no longer little and has far outgrown the cute nickname of earlier years.... 

She has always been a force to be reckoned with but now, she is now more armed and ready then ever as she recently just paid dearly for about 7 years of life experience squeezed into about 1.5 years.  Things that would have knocked most onto their back side not wanting to get up, she basically brushed her self off, looked up and outward and resolutely took major steps forward as if nothing had happened at all.  She has taught us all a great lesson in how to take a lump, swallow hard no matter how jagged the pill, and then to straighten up and take life on with style and grace.

She has been through refining fire and has come out with more red in her hair, deep resolve, stronger resilience, a bigger heart and confidence that is scary strong.  

Case in point, you know those recent posts of terrible passengers that get unruly?  Well, let me just say that they will not want to mess with Alexa Chelta Brown.... she has a lion's heart and and tiger's fierceness that will rock you if you dare cross the line.....  Yes, she might need a tiny boost pushing someone's overweight bag into the overhead bin, but she will "slice you up and spit you out" in any other category of messing around!  There will absolutely no "Mobbing with Mids" in her world.  This is why she wears the title so well...anyone who thinks they can get away with anything should be very very afraid.

She will single-handedly make flying safe again for everyone, which is pretty cool considering the quality of passengers these days. We can all take a deep sigh of relief as a result!  

We couldn't be more excited for her.  I hope you join me in wishing her the very best of success and happiness as she launches and lifts off her new career. 

So, Alexa, here you go... Jump forward, spread your wings and soar the skies with all you got girl.  You will be so great! 

It is both wonderful and terrible to see your youngest grow up so fast.....Terrible, that Little Lexi Lu is gone, but wonderful that she has become what she has -- an amazingly talented woman, with so much heart, potential and power.

As I think ahead and imagine in my mind being on some random flight in the future, and I look up and there she is, pushing the cart down the aisle serving everyone in her super deluxe uniform.  My eyes will definitely will well up and I can feel that ol' throat thing happening for sure....Yes, I almost hope she doesn't see me... how much fun would that be? 

........But, just in case she does see me, I hope, maybe.... just maybe, the Red Headed Terror might consider giving me the whole can of Coke instead of the measly cup with two sips!  

Here to wishing for full can of Coke!