I admit that since my brother Roland passed I have not taken the time to really process everything that happened. Many impressions and feelings have been swirling around around my mind, but I haven't anchored any of them to paper......So, I take a moment to pause, look back....learn and see where that leaves me....
What triggered this post finally was seeing this absolutely stunning photo of Roland's 3 girls on FB. It immediately gave me chills and I felt that familiar lump rise quickly into my throat. I knew instantly that I would not be able to escape feeling a full dose of emotion that would inevitably come--and boy did it! I needed this so much.....
What struck me was the thought that anyone seeing this photo would not believe that these 3 had just lost their Dad weeks earlier. They would say "No, absolutely not, No way possible" Look at them, their faces, the light pouring out of their countenances.... they are not just smiling...oh no.... their spirits are soaring, they are glowing. Everything about them says:
Dad, we know where you are, we know who we are and we will live with Joy...All is well....peace, be still
I put myself in Roland's shoes ....pretending for a sec that if there were Heaven's version of "facebook" and he were granted a moment to see how everyone was doing and he came upon this picture....what would he think and feel?
I can't imagine anything other than an incredibly large lump quickly forming in his own throat, a waterfall of emotion filling his body and a river of tears flowing from his eyes.
The word "Pride" doesn't really even come close in this scenario....this is so beyond that. This isn't feeling proud about a kid who finishes first in a race, gets straight A's, or does their chores without being asked.... this is about spiritual perspective, deep understanding of God and incredible faith to let go of hurt, pain and sorrow and turn their lives towards Heaven instead of withdrawing inward and fighting the demons of sorrow, regret and blame.
This isn't a picture of 3 sisters just happening to have a "good day". This is a picture of how they have decided to live the rest of their lives despite the tragic loss of their father. Each of them is unique, different and specialized....but they are ONE. The unity that emanates from them is so reverent. You can feel it too can't you ?
Roland, you raised an amazing family. Your girls are only part of your greater story. Your legacy is strong and vibrant. I honor you and I honor them.
"Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord." Matthew 25:21
I miss you like crazy....
2 comments:
Thank you Uncle Aaron. I've been thinking a lot about my dad today. Trying to be more like him. I miss him, but you're right, my spirit is soaring. It is impossible to erase him from this earth, and I'm finding joy in living the teachings he taught. You are a pretty great uncle, brother, father, etc. Thank you for your example.
Thanks for writing this post. One of the hardest things for me since dad has passed is a yearning for people who understand who he was on this earth and what an incredible daddy he continues to be. A lot of people knew him, but few really knew him.
Every once in a while I need to hear from someone who knows, loves, and misses him too. This post fulfilled my need. Thanks, Uncle Aaron.
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