Braden is that certain type of person who decided early in life (like maybe 2) that the best way to live his life would be by doing right things quietly and consistently. He somehow knew at a very young age that he didn't need to let the world know everything he was thinking or feeling. He figured out that he really didn't need to know what people thought or said about him either....meaning, whatever they did have to say wouldn't influence or change him in the least. He came here with an innate sense of self, and ability to see and process people, behavior and actions around him very quietly. One of his strengths is being "quick to observe" which in my opinion is one of those character traits that is difficult to develop much less master. He came to understand that the most important things are those that are done in quiet, often unseen and almost always not recognized by others. This is Braden, a fifteen year old teenager that is for all intents and purposes magnetically polarized to recognition, reward, accolades from parents, peers or "men"......Who is this guy?
He chooses his friends with deliberate scrutiny and they are all "shipworthy" souls to a fault. He didn't need to experiment, or navigate those choppy waters of social groups. He isn't in the popular crowd, he shies away from the jocks although plays on HS soccer team. He loves math and science but is not a "nerd". He isn't a goth, Emo, boarder, druggie, or rocker..... he is exactly what you see and exactly what he knows he is. It is yes...a bit unnerving, but completely beautiful.
So, with this intro, let me share my story..... it is tiny but as big as the universe for me.
His new Church youth leader came up to me at Church the other day and said he had something to tell me about Braden. My ears perked up faster than a doberman sensing a nearby squirrel! Braden is like turning on a light. You don't run home to tell Mom that there was light in the room. You tell Mom about all the kids who misbehaved etc... in Sunday School. Braden is always consistently present and participative, to the point you just expect exactly what he brings every time. So, this was different.....
He said that he asked the class what would each of them do if they knew for sure that Jesus was coming like in a few weeks. He let each of them simmer on that for a few minutes and then went around the room and earnestly asked each one what that would mean and what they would do. One said "I would repent!" "I would be nicer to people" said another... there was "I would try and get myself ready", then there was "I don't know what I would do". Most were about looking inward, reflective of their own standing and behavior in nature, entirely what I would expect from kids or anyone for that matter. Then came Braden's turn and he quietly and stoically said without hesitation
"I would go tell people"......
The leader said that there was an immediate change in the ambience in the room. It was so quietly said, but everyone noticed with their inner ears. A different and distinctive spirit was felt. I felt it just hearing the story.
That was it. That was all.... so simple, so piercing and so insightful. I was so grateful to get this precious insight from a thoughtful and caring leader. It said so much to me beyond answering a hypothetical question. It affirmed to me that all I thought I knew about Braden might actually still be true. He doesn't talk about these things. You won't get them at home. We spend most of our time wondering and hoping if everything is good and solid when it comes to figuring him out. What a nice moment of validation.
They say it takes a village to raise a child....I believe it. I knew along time ago (like when the first kid was born) that I was in trouble thinking that I could do very much as a parent. I am convinced that it is takes touches from a thousand people to shape each person. I live in a pretty cool "village" made up of very special people like this volunteer leader to spend any of his time at all helping teach and counsel my son. I am very grateful for him, for sharing this oh so exquisite tidbit of insight into Braden's mind and heart.
Braden, you made me think twice about how I would have answered that question. You were the teacher and I the student and you don't even know it..... Once again, just your way....quietly and effortlessly doing and "thinking" right things without looking for validation.....a bit of burden lifted....
How you came to our family I will never quite understand but we obviously needed you. Thank you for choosing us and being exactly who you are. I hope you never change.....
2 comments:
Aaron I am enjoying your posts soooooo much. Knowing your kids makes them so meaningful. Send my love to the Brown Family. I don´t think I will be seeing you this year.
Aaron thanks for sharing. Love all your posts.... knowing the family makes so much more meaningful. Don´t think I´ll see you this year. Beso grande!
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