I was reminded today that I here for a purpose, that I have meaning, that I am important and that no matter how small my contribution is, that any positive effort I make can be magnified beyond my own comprehension by forces greater than my understanding.
The world is darkening...they said....I see it. Confusion is at the heart of it all. New weird definitions, less focus outward, more inward.
And yet I also heard that there is more light present today then ever before....and that it will grow stronger. I have come to a certain understanding and belief in many things.... but despite that, I find myself questioning things. I dip and drop at times into depression, uncertainty, and bewilderment. Then I find reminders all around me.... little post it notes coming down from above like leaves in my peripheral vision, not always paying attention, then....when I focus I see them, and take a minute to actually read them. I stop, reflect and I open up.....the good feelings come, not sure exactly how, but they come, mostly I know from whom they come.....
We think we know so much, that we don't need anyone else, then in 5 seconds we can feel so alone, completely misunderstood wondering who we are. Is it just me or are we that fragile?
In those small dark moments, there is nothing quite like the right reminder....like a burst of light filling us up with inspiration and hope.
Yes, today I heard many reminders.....they filled my tank, at times my brain was happy, and more often my heart was. One such reminder was to do a self-check.... How am I doing? What else can I do? Where can I help? How can I love better? How do I get out of myself and focus on the needs of others? Sometimes I felt like "Yes, I am pretty good there." and other times I was like "Oh my.... def need to do more there..."
Today I looked for inspiration and found it everywhere.....In every reminder given. I am buoyed up with hope.
Thank Heaven for General Conference