If I Could Start Again Today

If I Could Start Again Today
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All the kings and queens in the bible
They could not turn back time
So what chance have I of a miracle
In this life of mine?
I only want one day
To unsay the things I said
Undo the thing I did
Twenty-four little hours
Oh God, please wipe them all away
And I promise I will change
If I could start today again

I know I'm not the milk and honey kind
Today I proved it true
When the red mist falls around my eyes
I know not what I do
Please give me back today
And I won't say the things I said
Or do that thing I did
Every minute, every hour
The replay's just the same
And I can't stand the pain
Oh let me start today again

I only want one day
One lousy day, that's all
Of every day that's been before
Since time began
I know my prayer's in vain
But for a second I'll pretend
That I can start today again

AB:  I know cannot have that particular one day again....I know I am also supposed to move on and look forward.  Sometimes the melancholy just comes regardless, so thick that it envelopes me  and I swim in it for a while.....often too long.  I play the "what if" game as if that will somehow let me rewind the tape and do it right in my mind's eye.....  I would like to think that I would have been smart enough to have not messed up "that" one day, month or year.....but that is the "human" cloth I am woven of....bound to make mistakes,  unwittingly determined to let others down, and inherently designed to cause pain.... the pull to self-loathing is so strong--like a rip current pulling one back to the sea.

Somehow, there is a way to move on and look forward.... to replace yesterday with a new day.  A new day to let me apply what I have learned and literally "start again". To mend, to heal, to forgive,.... I know this is true.  I believe in the miracle of what a new day can bring. 

                                                                      It's just that for now......I want to swim for a bit.