"You" by Schiller feat. Colbie Caillat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6nrPbQxIpU - hope you enjoy

I have followed Schiller for a while mostly for his ambient pop dance tunes....But came across this one late last night and it kind of captivated me in a more soulful way. (He does some great collaboration with many artists including Lisa Gerrard and others......)

Although the overall beat makes me tap to the rythm, I like the lyrics, they remind me of two things:

1. Unrequited love.....which is always interesting to me. Alot of my friends are dealing with this right now.....I guess people always will.

2. From a different perspective, it is also reminds me how I have often felt about being a TCK (Third Culture Kid) -- feeling alienated at times in my own country. The process of "repatriation" was the most difficult in my life. The one place I always thought would be "Home" .....at last, after all the years of being overseas turned out to be the most "foreign" of them all...especially Utah, home of my faith and family. So, I replace the word "YOU" in this song with any place I lived that I still long for. Mostly this would be Brazil. So, I still long for Brazil, my friends, the music, the culture, my incredible experiences there with other TCKids and friends at church and school. I have moved a few places in the US thinking that would be a way to "scratch that itch" and that has helped. But feeling completely at "home" is still elusive.......for the most part I am reconciled to the reality that I have made choices that will most likely keep me here in Utah for a long time. I am pretty ok with all that comes with those decisions.....But still down deep, from time to time, I take out a bottle of "saudade" (nostalgia) and open it up and wallow in the heady aroma of my unique past and am grateful that I still have longings...and this song captures that for me.

YOU
Turn down the silence, Inside my head Bring back the colors Were you insane?
Further from where I´ve started
Further to go Keeping my heart under control
Why do I still feel you? Feel you.... And though you´ve gone I still feel you, feel you All I need is you......All I need is to feel you, feel you
Why did you change your mind and run away? Thoughts of you by my side are starting to fade I know that you should be mine, So I wont let you go Everyday I´m trying to get close
Why do I still feel you? Feel you ......And though you've gone I still feel you, feel you.
All I need is you All I need is to feel you, feel you
Stop running all the time don´t fight the feeling inside Cause when you try to hide don´t matter where you go it´s deep in your soul

First Time in Heels....

Last Sunday I was coming down the stairs and McKenna (daughter) brushed by me on her way up....Something caught my eye and I looked back and she was wearing heels.....! The image stopped me in my tracks.... The words started out of my mouth without thinking...."hey, what do you think you are doing in those?" I said. She smiled and said "I am wearing Mom's heels". Obviously...but that wasn't what I was really asking.

Nevertheless, at the moment my mind was confused....ok, she was now 12 and all, but still....HEELS?? Not yet right? Isn't that more like 15 - 16?? Geez!

She proceeded to clunk up the stairs. I meandered down and kept getting ready for church, but the image wouldn't leave me and something was bothering me......

So what was I asking her? I think what I was really asking was "Hey, what do you think you are doing being all grown up enough to wear heels already." All of a sudden, here I was in one of those surreal moments, those "rites of passage" that we all go through. I didn't know there was one for "First time in Heels" but this experience definitely qualified as one. A few minutes later I walked back up and found her, I asked her to turnaround so I could see all of her in this "moment" she was having.... She was smilliing, also now wearing one of Mom's jackets too.... Wow, she looked beautiful. I finally swallowed hard and smiled back at her...I said to myself "Ok Aaron, it is going to be ok......I think". She wasn't very elegant in them, but it didn't matter....it felt right in the end. It was time for McKenna to pass through that special door in her life -- leaving her childhoold in one room, while embracing young womanhood in the the next -- excited to embrace the new experiences and opportunities that would shape the next phase of her life. Amazing what a small pair of shoes can do to transform a little girl -- She would never be the same again.....and neither would I.

"Spread your wings and fly"

It's the Little Things that Count......

I came home the other day from a meeting and there was a big yellow 8x10 sheet of paper taped to the front of the gargage....It said:

"Hi Dad, we are playing in the back yard...

so don't worry when you go in"

I am not sure why, but I stopped and smiled...I examined the poster more closely, I could tell by the detail and the balloon letters that they had taken some time to do it "nice"...it wasn't a hurried note. Of course it was my two girls that did it. But more importantly, I loved the way it made me feel inside. That they took the time to concern themselves with what I might feel coming into an empty house and maybe worrying about them.... What amazing Emotional Intelligence kids have. 

 What is it about adults sometimes that makes us regress or lose our ability to just be in the moment...everything gets "scripted" and we live out these stupid roles and we forget or just don't do the little notes that go such a long way to making one feel cared for and concerned with... I know many of us do those things...but it was a beautiful and simple reminder to me that a few key words can put a smile on the face, change a heart for the better and bring peace to a Dad. 

Yes, I didn't even go check on them....I wanted to honor their note and although they didn't have to do it, it made all the difference for me......

I wonder if God leaves us notes all over, trying to get us to notice His hand in our lives....Simple "notes" posted here and there, with simple words that when found and read make all the difference with just a little attention from us. If He feels anything like I felt then His heart would be full of joy and peace. I hope I don't miss too many of His yellow notes....