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Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Wonder

The previews looked very cliche.... disfigured kid, over protective parents, token bullying at school and a story line bound to gratuitously pull on the viewers heart strings just because they could....

I went anyway..... and.....boy was I wrong.  It was one of those times in life when you were glad you were wrong....

Did they pull on my heart strings?  Oh yeah, but they did it in such an authentic and beautiful way that it was ok.  The lump came from the right place...

What I didn't realize that there was a lot more going on than the actual story itself.  Much like he did in "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" , screenwriter and director Stephen Chbosky produced a string of amazing quotes that immediately penetrated my mind and wouldn't leave as soon as I heard them in the movie.

The first one that got me was:

“When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind."

I am sure this wasn't the first time I had heard these words, but for some reason it sure felt like the first time, not sure why.  But it sat well inside as I simmered on it's meaning and application.  Being able to swallow being wrong or sometimes taking the blame even when you know it should be taken by someone else is kind isn't it?  What is it that drives our need to be "right"?  Do we buy into the idea that "right" equals "good"?  Being right is an inward direction, being kind is an outward focus.  . They both can feel good... but one doesn't last. In fact how often have you had that sudden sinking realization in the pit of your soul that just when you made sure you were "right", you knew in an instant that you were "wrong" because your motives were all screwed up?  Being kind frees you up... it gets you clear, it helps you find that peaceful lake inside.

One is childish, the other grown up.... which leads me to the second one:

“The best way to measure how much you've grown isn't by inches or the number of laps you can now run around the track, or even your grade point average-- though those things are important, to be sure. It's what you've done with your time, how you've chosen to spend your days, and whom you've touched this year. That, to me, is the greatest measure of success.” 

It is nearly impossible to not go immediately into self-assessment mode on this one.... didn't you when you just read it? So, I have thought about this... what about you?  Where did you prioritize your time this year?  Did you make the right choices?  How would you know?    I gotta be honest... I missed on a few things here.  I was caught up in some of my own "stuff" for sure.... how easy it was to go inward...I was so grateful to hear these words ring true in my heart.  It has helped me shake off the chains that have sneakily snaked around me, keeping me from moving in the right direction.... This quote has given me some courage to pivot and think about how to prioritize my energy from "in" to "out", like Auggie and his sister did in the movie.  I hope my kids think about this one too...  They have so much to offer others....(which they do).

“Listen to the whispers.” 

Aren't some of the greatest and grandest moments in our lives defined by quiet whispers?  When you hold your first baby in your arms?  When that answer you have been searching for comes to you early in the morning just before you really wake up?  The feeling that comes when you witness kindness in the most simple ways.  You have your own set that have served you through your years.   The last one I remember was this past Monday, when as a family we watched the new #LightTheWorld video, it came right @ 1:12 min. in.  Very powerful.

When was the last whisper you remember hearing.....? Has it been too long?

At face value, Wonder tells a story about a disfigured kid and the challenges he and his family face....but I saw much more... to me it wasn't really about that,  it was a well crafted delivery system for empathy.... it empowers you to see from someone elses' shoes, which makes all the quotes from the movie so much more impactful and meaningful....

If it has been a while since you looked into your inner mirror, then I recommend putting yourself in a position to reflect and figure out some stuff.  I think you might be surprised.... as I was...

Here is one more just for fun.... maybe it will be the one that draws you close enough to go all the way......

“Who we are,” he said, underlining each word as he said it. “Who we are! Us! Right? What kind of people are we? What kind of person are you? Isn’t that the most important thing of all? Isn’t that the kind of question we should be asking ourselves all the time? “What kind of person am I?

Learning who you are is what your are here to do.” 



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