There is a part in the film where the "wallflower" character asks his thoughtful and concerned English teacher: "Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?"
The English teacher replied:
"People accept the love they think they deserve"
I had to stop the DVD and write this down.... There is nothing new about it, I have heard 1,000 things that resemble the intent, but only this time did it hit and then sink in like thick paint
running down a wall.
I will have to process this for a while because I know there something both you and I can to learn from this. But only after some reflection and honest self-evaluation.....
Sometimes I feel like I have so much love that I want to share with others, but then when it comes to receiving love from others I close up, I resist, I don't feel worthy, I don't feel deserving? I wonder why....
do I limit the amount of love I could feel from others that are trying so hard to give it because I don't think I am worthy or good enough. Maybe because I made some mistakes and now I can't forgive myself so I think I should get less?
Is this what keeps me from accepting the love that Jesus intended through His atonement? Is this what it means to believe Jesus vs believing in Jesus. Until I believe I am worthy of his atoning sacrifice I will not be able to properly receive the full measure of His love that I absolutely deserve. All of us do...
What would it take for me to remove all of my own self-placed filters and walls I have built up and simply accept all the love that can be given?
Do I believe in myself? Do I believe that I can be loved for exactly who I am. I can say that I have felt this once....there is nothing like it. I wish everyone could feel it and it gives me tremendous hope to be able to accept all love from anyone that wishes to give it. I need to open up more and look forward to it, embrace it when it comes and never apologize for it.
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