Catch you on the flipside.....

This was the last photo taken of us as a family 3 days before we dropped off Landon at the Missionary Training Center for him to begin his 2 year journey to serve his Heavenly Father as a full-time missionary.

It was a Sunday and everything was perfect.  Family was there.... from brand spankin' new babies to grandparents.  We had friends from out of town, friends from "in" town.
Landon gave a farewell address in Church and it was very special.  He probably had 100 friends come to hear him speak.  They all came over to the house afterwards for food and talk.  One of my favorite things in all the world... all the people I love together, socializing without looking at the clock.

After the last guests left, we took a number of family pictures.  It was great.  This one turned out especially nice and captured the feeling of love we had in our hearts all day.

We then tried hard to spend the next few precious days squeezing all we could out of each spending as much time as possible with Landon.  It was wonderful.  Wednesday did finally come....

.......after many tears and lumps in the throat, he picked up his bags and did a 180 degree turn and went straight forward not looking back...... as it should be.

We had a silent trip home... our minds and hearts were full, but we weren't quite ready to talk about things..... it was a good hurt, a good silence, a good quiet reflection.....

I have been looking at this photo every day since... It reminds me that there is more than just me.  There is "us".  We are together, we are a unit.  And when one isn't there, we aren't quite right.  That helps me a great deal.  We aren't perfect, far from it.  We are full of different opinions, personalities, feelings and don't see eye to eye on many things.  We hurt each other at times, we don't anticipate needs, we miss opportunities to encourage and praise each other.  We can get lost in the world of selfishness, we all do it..... at the end of the day, that is ok.  We overcome all those things by being together and keeping our collective eyes on the same goals.  I never knew how hard it would be do to do that. Unbelievably hard.  It takes more work than anything else I have ever done.  And the funny thing is that I am only now, so late in the game learning just how hard it really is.  It is the right kind of hard work that every family should face front on.

How do I balance what I need with what my family needs?  I don't know.... I am trying to figure that out now.  All I know is that when I do lose myself in the needs of others, I seem to do better than when I don't.

Landon has inspired me.... he is thriving out there doing his new gig.  It helps me to focus and drive myself to better thoughts, better actions.  I want to be my best self as a result.  I need to be my best self for the rest of the family.

I have said goodbye to people I love my entire life....across many countries.  I find myself doing it still...it never has stopped "hurting good".  A blessed agony.  I normally just tell people that I will see them again so it really isn't a goodbye.  I do believe that in my heart.

So... to all of my friends and loved ones......and Landon for the next little while.... I will catch you on the flipside!!  Keep flying high and spread those wings.  Fly high in the clouds as a family....find ways to bring them along.  They might not fly like you do or as well, but bring them in close and never let go.....

Ate ja (see you soon)