In the Zone

McKenna made VP for her Senior Class at the end of her Junior year last spring.  What she did to run and ultimately win is a whole other story in and of itself.....(will post later).....She has been super busy all summer doing events, getting to know the other officers and preparing for other fall activities as school began.

Because she is very involved, that automatically means Chelta and I are also very involved.  We love it even though it can mean some serious hours at times. 

McKenna is very oriented to art and visual design.  She wasn't really happy with everyone's ideas for this fall's 'Homecoming' dance, so she decided to do her own "thang!"  Everyone seemed to just go along because she brought so much energy to the table.  I really had no idea what was going on behind the scenes.  All I know is that pretty soon there were all manner of large cardboard boxes all over our lawn.   She started cutting huge letters from them and then painted them with gold colored paint.  Then all kinds of other stuff starting showing up from the local salvation army store...knick knacks, picture frames, random baskets and even large wooden pallets.  Gold paint faded into Black....  Weeks went by and I finally started to ask what was going on... my lawn was a disaster...all kinds of horrible paint all over it.  Of course the size and quantity of all these decorations ended up in our garage--meaning, yes, the cars were now parked elsewhere.   Time passed....more and more came....they would go dumpster diving to find the right sized cardboard.  Chelta and I both wondered if all this was actually going to "work".  We had a few doubts.... but went along for the ride as McKenna seemed so sure about everything.

The day came.... Got home with a truck at 4pm... loaded her up along with two minivan's and off to the High School we went...  

Let me begin at the end and work backwards......

We got home at 3am.

Before you think you know where I am going let me just say that it was a total 

BLAST !!!

I will try and describe why...

First: There was the scale:  She wanted BIG... she has never been scared of size or scope.... she only sees what has to be done in whatever space is provided.  

Second: She wanted to decorate like had never been done before....  She wanted every single person who came to have an "experience" not just come to a dance.

Third:  The theme was "Shabby Chic" and so there was a ton of eclectic things going up mixed in with a lot of randomness but that was all part of the vision.

Here are some pics:

Unforgettable was the theme and the goal:  No one would forget!

Fun balloon entrance...yes with random boxes lining the way

The coolest hanging umbrellas ever.....they were floating!

Very interesting things handing all over...random but precise

Cool

Everyone came down the halls to see everything....lots of chatter!

Every star had the names of every couple!  Their own hall of fame... more floating parasols 

Every couple came to find their star

Worm's eye view of floating parasols    

A few balloons

Very creative floating clouds!  

Many hands

Of course this is what you do with boxes, crates and pallets!!! I should have known

  

Random

With lights

So, not necessarily the most spellbinding decorations for sure, but that wasn't what won the night... it might have been what people noticed the most, what they talked about, and what they had fun doing together, but it was what was happening to McKenna inside that was the coolest part of that long night.

Everyone came to her to ask what to do, where to go, what to put where.... pretty soon it was even the teachers and adults.  She had the vision and knew where to direct everyone.  She did it patiently all night long...never an ounce of frustration.  She had everyone's respect.  She was in the "zone".    I watched her closely.  She was riding a monster wave of confidence.  She was having so much fun creating, not directing everyone, but watching everyone's hands piece together her vision and the joy that emanated from her countenance when the result exceeded her expectations it was exquisite to experience.  I remember catching her in a moment and asked her:  "Doesn't this feel extraordinary right now inside?"  She said: "Yeah!"  I told her:  "You will never be the same.... you just grew two years in one night!"  She nodded.  Then I asked her: "Don't you feel like you can do anything in the whole world right now?"  She laughed and said "Exactly!"

It was in that moment my heart leapt for her and at the same time I realized this whole Sr. Class VP experience was fast forwarding her exit from us.  She was increasingly more ready each passing day to go be on her own... to create, spread her wings and to discover on her own... I knew it in my heart that instant.  It pricked me hard... that lump came to my throat in an instant..... one blink of the eye and it was there... as if to prepare me for what would be coming in just a few short months....ick!  I didn't want to face it.  It reminded me of a poem my sister wrote titled: Time, you are a Thief (will deep dive later)

Regardless, to see her in her particular brand of "The Zone" was very special.  Since then she has only ridden that wave even further.  The confidence that comes from knowing who are you  and being ok with that knowledge can create a lot of confidence momentum.  It has lingered in the weeks since this event.  It has only become stronger as she continues to set her sights on what she wants to achieve. 

3am didn't matter anymore.... only the timeless funnel of that wave did... awesome!

Sanding the Rough Edges

I am who I am..... we say this don't we?  We believe that nothing can or should change about ourselves because of 5 simple words... 

I am who I am

How many times do we hear the world saying that to us.... over and over.  After all, don't we have the right to be who we are or whatever we want to be?  Why should we be anything different than who we are?  

There are those that spend inordinate amounts of energy first finding out who they really are.  Others, seem to already know without spending any time at all.

Once found, then what......?  We just keep being "us", staying in that state of "am"ness forever? Then what about change?  Isn't life about constant change?  How to reconcile change with that of just "being" who we are?  Is change supposed to change us, who we are, or does change just happen around us without really touching us?

Growing up overseas I remember knowing other American expats who would come to these amazing countries and cultures and live there for years but would never let themselves be "touched" by their experience.  Very much like being in a plastic bubble.....breathing? Yes, but never "inhaling".  Alive? Yes, but not "living".  They didn't want anything to touch them, to leave any impressions or fingerprints, or in other words......let anything dare 'change' them......They wanted the warm safe and dry of their cocoon of convenience and comfort.

Personally, I never understood that mentality.  What a tremendous fraidy pants waste.

I had to sand McKenna's door frame on Saturday..... finally!  She hasn't had a door to her room for forever....( I know, bad Dad.... )  So there I was, trying to find the right grit of sandpaper.  I was too lazy at first to bring up the electric sander, so began doing it by hand. In order to get the door framed as square as possible, I needed to refine a few rough edges here and there.  I thought I would pop this gig out in just a few minutes.  I started.....hard to get a rhythm going at first.  The position in the corner door frame was super awkward.  I folded the sandpaper to get a better angle....slowly the fine dust started to appear, but only after ALOT of Mr. Miayagi "up and down" strokes.  I felt the burn in my hands and and shoulders.  I kept switching hands.  Over and over and slowly the pile of super refined saw dust sprinkled down on on the floor over my shoes.  Frequently I would stop, brush my fingers against the rough edges to see how level they were getting. I was surprised how much effort it took just to get a few little rough patches smooth and level.  

30 minutes later, I was perspiring and my arms ached and burned.  I stopped and reflected on my work.

Two things happened:
1.  I noticed how beautiful smoothly sanded wood looked, smelled and felt.
2.  I realized that I was smack dab in the middle of one of God's metaphors.....once again.....

I wasn't sanding McKenna's door.... He was sanding down some of the rough edges of my soul.   

I realized in an instant that the effort I was exerting to "change" the physical nature of that door frame was proportionate to the effort He was exerting to change the spiritual nature of "who I am".  I sat there pondering this principle.  What did I need to "change" in order to frame the perfect fit for my soul's door.

I am who He wants me to be

Is this the real me?  With this new definition, it would mean that I would have to believe in knowing myself just well enough to know that I need to change, to smooth out my own rough edges.  Some I came with, some I acquired like barnacles on an old boat.  Edges that would need ALOT of effort, hundreds....maybe thousands of Mr. Miyagi "up and down" strokes.  The more I realized, the more I realized what was actually sprinkling down around me onto the floor and over my shoes was, truth.....little bits of refined truth hitting me and then finding their way down to their resting place.  The little piles of truth were the reality of how much effort it was taking for me to realize just how much sanding I stood in need of.....

30 minutes later..... I was crying and my spirit ached and burned.  I stopped and reflected on my thoughts.

Two things happened:

1.  I noticed how a beautiful smoothly sanded soul could look, smell and feel like

2.  I realized that I never want to stop being smack dab in any of God's metaphors.....ever

This will be a special door McKenna.... I will call it the "Door of Rough Edges"  because just like your door, we are worth sanding...