Pages

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Hall of Fame pt. 1





Prelude:  It was the summer of '86.  I had just returned home from serving in Portugal for 2 years as a volunteer missionary.  I was on top of the world.  I had just experienced the best 2 years of my life as I knew it then.  I was with my parents in Northern VA and had turned my thoughts to work in prep to return for fall semester at BYU. I had landed a midnight to 6am job driving a large van to distribute newspapers to about 30 routes for the Washington Post.  I would try and get a couple of hours of sleep before leaving then finish up with a few more on the flipside before going to a second job by 10am.


Story: My dad had decided to for some unknown mysterious reason, to take upon himself a rather "large" paper route.  When I say "large" I mean "humongous"!!  He did it himself with help of my younger brother JJ.  Going to Mom for answers didn't work as she was already banging her head against the wall wondering what on earth my Dad was thinking. Nevertheless, while we were all scratching our heads, Dad was busy designing the absolutely most organized and well orchestrated paper route man has seen.  He did maps on his computer, he had a color coding system that the CIA would be envious of. He was very disciplined and he ran that thing like a well oiled machine. If there were an Oscar for Paper Routes....well...nuff said!  


Sometimes, when he wasn't careful, and you were in the right position and the right time, you could catch a twinkle in his eye and and a little grin that said something like.. "he he... I am the master of my universe..." minus the stereo typical dramatic evil Draculan laugh that one would expect.....


Now, it didn't matter if it was rain or shine or even  "school closing" snow,  he never missed a day and almost never missed a paper. He did this for years.  Every Saturday evening was spent in our living room with a pile of Sunday inserts....which we all rolled and rubber banded while we watched "Star Search"..... (Ok, so there was no Idol then.... k?)  Nothing was funner than getting up super early on Sunday and load up the papers....each one seriously felt like a block of cement.  Then running around delivering those chunks of bricks...it look twice as long and we had to finish quickly in time to go to our next favorite thing on Sunday......right....Church!  Oh Yeah!! and there was much rejoicing throughout the land....


But once I had taken this nightime job, I had to catch more sleep each morning when I got home in order to be halfway ready for my 2nd job.  So, for several months he and JJ were on their own....(except for those bloody Sundays.)     


Then came my last day.... the day I would be returning to school and leaving home yet one more time.  I remember the day so well... I finished my night route, got home and was on my way into the house when something said to my mind "Go find Dad...!"  I immediately decided to follow the voice....I ran the route until I found him.... I didn't have to go too far and when he saw me coming he shouted out "Hey! great to see you..."  I said "Put me to work".  We finished the route in record time, the day progressed and off I went to BYU.


Fast Forward:  Later.... I think it would have been months later... I received one of Dad's letters.  I can hardly talk about Dad's letters without feeling a lump in my throat.... .  I had come to rely upon them much in my life.  No one wrote letters like Dad.  I opened the letter and then read about that last day I left for BYU many months ago.  


He said that he was already not looking forward to my leaving that day, and knowing he wouldn't see me before I left, when I came bounding down the sidewalk in the darkness to find him and help, he said in that moment I "jumped" into his personal "Hall of Fame".  He proceeded to tell me how special that small moment was for him.  It was totally unexpected.


I had to stop and rewind and play the "tape" again in my mind.  My heart got involved this time.  I thought it was nothing....more fun than very important.  He saw it quite differently. He drew me into the feelings that Fathers have, a context that I couldn't quite understand at the time,  but believed him.  


He went on to say for the first of many times how much I made him "Hurt Good".  This has become a very special term that he and I have traded back and forth since that time.  I have come to know how special that feeling is.


That was it, nothing more; simple really when I think of it, but so profound and it has left its permanent mark on my heart.  


Postlude:  I have since thought about my personal "Hall of Fame".... Who is in there?  Who do I let in?  What do they have to do?  Do I need to have one?  I have thought, and felt about it a lot since then.  I have learned there is a door, there is criteria, but I have never written it down.  In fact, I am not even sure I could tell you.... but I can say that my heart absolutely knows what the entrance criteria is.  I never know when it will happen, but when it does, it is as clear as a whistle through a silent sky.  Do you have one?  "Hurts Good" works for me.

So, I have stopped scratching my head about Dad's paper route.  That letter put that question to bed. I secretly smile to myself in a more knowing way as I think about the many times we spent working together, accomplishing something hard - together.  My hat's off to you Dad...You were always way smarter than me  Thanks for taking that paper route in order to teach me a life lesson about "hurting good" It has made all the difference.  

If you were here today......

If you were here today..... 

Here is what you wouldn't do first.....

  • Clean the kitchen
  • Sweep the floor
  • Cast a glancing eye at the dust here and there
  • Roll your eyes at the McDonald's bag on the counter
These never were your strengths and thank Heaven they weren't, even though you spent a lifetime worrying over them.  I am glad they really didn't matter in the end.....

Here is what you would do instead: 


  1. You would be anxious to hear the kids sing and dance, (only you would be able to get them to do it too!) 
  2. You wouldn't be able to restrain the urge to teach them something along the way as well, some dance move, or encouragement for something artistic. 
  3. You would "ooh" and "ahh" no matter what they did and you would make them feel like it was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.
  4. You would tell them the stories of how you would dance as a little girl with your sisters for the troops during WWII and how the soldiers would throw pennies on the stage which you loved!
  5. You would tell them to smile and shine all the time
  6. You would squeeze every detail of worth out of each moment
  7. You wouldn't dare leave without letting each know of their infiinte worth and potential and how the Lord would bless them.
  8. You would make each one of them feel so unique and special.
  9. You would give them each a breathless tight hug, as if it would be your last....  

They would feel your excitement and enthusiasm for true and free expression....  They would start practicing the minute you left for the next visit.

As I play the film in my mind's eye, it is so clear and vivid that it is as if you really were here.  I know the script, I can hear the dialogue, I know all the camera angles, yes...even when to zoom in on a particular moment. Predictable plot?  Oh yes!, but always special. I know the beginning, middle and end.... oh, the ends were so hard...the longing looks, the hugs that didn't need to be so tight, but were anyway.  Your film is perfect, always re-watchable, always in technicolor, always ending with a lump in the throat.

Keep dancing Mom, never stop and thank you for that lasting legacy....... abraco,

Happy Mothers Day