What Are Words

"What Are Words"
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

Although a fairly avid fan of American Idol, I had only caught snipits here and there this season and had somehow missed the whole Chris Medina story. It has become clear to me now that I wasn't supposed to...

I sat down this morning at my laptop with the intent of plowing into some "homework" that I was behind on for work. Instead of pulling up a work file, I went to right to Yahoo.com for some reason and noticed a little vid clip about Chris Medina not making the top 24. The story says that Chris went into the studio a day or so after his elimination to record a song called "What Are Words." A well known producer wrote the song after being inspired by his story and asked Chris to record it.


My curiosity was piqued...So I clicked on the video clip.

.....I wasn't prepared for the emotion I found rising up into my chest......I liked Chris's voice, the melody was simple, but full of emotion and the words rang in my ears. They were a perfect fit for his own story...... But what really got to me was Chris himself: his example of deep devotion, commitment and loyalty to a now brain damaged; disabled fiancee who once was a beautiful fully functioning woman.

I don't know Chris, never will, but I don't need to..... I know enough about him to cause myself to ask some important questions that I need answers to:

"Am I that loyal?" "Do I honor my friends and loved ones by keeping my promises?" "Is my back and heart strong enough to do what Chris is doing if needed, regardless of any circumstance?"

He is the kind of example that helps all of us who are married or commited to remember a few key words and phrases of things we promised each other once upon a time....did we really mean these words we said?


I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness
and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. I, ____, take you, ____, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part...

These may not be everyone's words, but there is enough here to make anyone stop and think regardless of what you may have actually said to each other at your wedding/event.
What I found myself thinking was how much these words apply to friends as well. I found myself replacing the blanks above with specific names........then reading it again in that context hopefully wishing that at the end that I felt good about where I stood.

Honestly, with more names than I wanted to, I find myself lacking..... I have somehow rationalized and justified my own pride for dismissing these particular few, deciding to not be part of their lives, or at least in a much more diminished way.... Intentionally placing distance between them and me and somehow feeling smug and "right" about it.....

...... At the end of the day, I am wrong.....

Do the reasons I come up with really matter? Are my hurt feelings enought to sever relationships with people that I have or still actually love? Who cares if someone threw me under the proverbial bus? Maybe they embarassed me in a way that seemed so unforgiveable at the time. I can think of a hundred reasons why I could be "right" and justified in not being loyal, but as I think and "feel" through it, I can't escape the sense that I am wrong. My arguments don't hold water after all.

Surely, I am one who has and continues to have the kind of friends and loved ones that have never given up on me, no matter what, and there have been very good reasons why they shouldn't have done so...

So, my friends, should we join hands and ask ourselves what Chris is asking us to do? See if our Words really do matter that we say to each other? I feel a sense of recommitment and a desire to let bygones be bygones....water under the bridge as they say. I hope you do too....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQY4dIxY1H4&feature=feedf


"Cuz what kind of guy would I be..... if I was to leave when you need me most?"

In Memoriam: Vivi Guimaraes

(Today) one of Heaven's daughters was called home..... she was a bright star in our small but special global village of EABers. We were better because she was part of us......
On paper she was Viveka. As for me and everyone else I knew, she was simply..... "Vivi"
I have no special claim on her, she wasn't my best friend, I did not spend significant time with her, I cannot say I was close to her. In fact, she was 2 grades older, which in high school is like 2 decades, and I could probably count on 2 hands the number of times she conversed with me directly......
So I ask myself.......what is it then? Why do I feel what I feel? Where does the dull ache in my head come from? The muddled thoughts and heavy heart? Why does it feel so especially personal? At the end of the day, I cannot say, but I think it was because she was part of something I belong to. Her leaving takes a little part of me with her because we are all still part of the EAB family despite the fact we were a tiny little high school in the middle of nowhere. We are bonded by our collective experience.
As I reflect back on my memories I can recall some things that did make my knowing her special.......What I remember most was what I saw as an interested observer.....I watched her deliver hundreds of individual "Hi's", "Hello's", "Oi's" and "Tchau's" that collectively won me over. She wore cheerful like a favorite pair of jeans, comfortable and natural..., it became her own "designer brand of fashion". She was a beautiful person on the inside and out. She had the ability to attract many.....you would want to be where she was and be part of what she was conversing about. There was a freshness about her that made things especially nice.

What was very special about Vivi was her smile...... Her smile could melt Alaska. Getting a direct "hit" smile from Vivi was a special treat. How generous she was with that gift. She made it her constant companion and everyone close by benefited and felt its radiance. She didn't play favorites with it..... rather she was willing to share it with the whole world freely, without hope or expectation of something in return...... My sense is that if you wanted to know Vivi, you just needed to feel a few of her smiles. I am fortunate I did.

She was the kind of person that without meaning to, could instantly make any Jr High School kid want to be a "man" and make any man want to be an "9th Grader" all over again.......Flirtacious....but never fake.
Above all else, she loved and had a big heart........ If there were one message I could leave with her today, it would be to let her know that she made an everlasting ripple in the EAB experience. We loved her as she was, despite what the world threw her way. Her trials didn't harden her heart, rather they opened it even further. Thank you Vivi for your life, your bright spirit, your acceptance, what you taught us all about love and friendship......You will be missed.
Yes....On paper she was "Viveka" . As for me..... she will always be "Vivi" and her smile filled the whole world.....
Abraco