Beautiful Sunday Visit

It started with sleeping in.....    I should probably just end there. That might be good enough to make a wonderful Sunday...

Landon was home for the weekend.  It is always better when that happens.  We have a ton of fun when he comes.... it is a lot more noisy, loud and just the right amount of over the top nonsensical behavior.  It has gotten quite a bit more quiet since McKenna and Braden left for their missions. Yes, the noise has become a welcome beautiful thing.

We had a really nice church service.  Felt a great spirit there and left edified, tanks filled, ready to accelerate for the upcoming week.

But first the rest of Sunday afternoon was still there ahead of us... to make of it what we would.  A beautiful block of time, just waiting to see what we would do.

First, there was feasting... when it comes to food, we usually don't fool around.  We plough, we troll, we dredge.... No sissy salads,  nuh uh!   We consume with gusto.   Then, we launch ourselves onto our comfy sectional and crash.... hoping to recover from the pain we just submitted ourselves to.

I know, pretty awesome so far huh?

Today was just slightly different.  We had a special guest.  It was Abby, Braden's friend.   We love Abby.  We don't know her all the way yet, but yes, we do love her.  I think we started loving her when we saw a new twinkle in Braden's eye.  So subtle, so soft, so almost nothing... but the corner of his firm smile turned up just enough for those close enough to watch to see..... yes, there was something there.  No words were necessary... that is the essence of Braden.

Abby came over (*She's the pretty one in the back) and spent time with us.  It was so much fun.  We got to talk about Braden so much.  To see her expressions and reactions that were so heartfelt to her made my heart hurt so good.  To know there is someone that knows Braden so well.... to his core.... and accepts him for who he is.  The care, the concern was so authentic.  I couldn't help but be pulled in.  She reminded me of what true friendship really is.  I will never tire of Gibran's definition:

On Friendship
 Kahlil Gibran

Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

Actually, now reading it again... they both reminded me of what friendship is really all about.  It has been a bit since I have seen it so well worn by two.  It fits these two as well as any I know.

Time flew, we hugged her goodbye.  We felt refreshed, refilled, renewed.

(But we did make time for chocolate Dunford donuts with vanilla bean ice cream.   Scrumptious)

A beautiful Sunday visit.... 

The Quiet Power

I walked backwards, against time

and that’s where I caught the moon,

singing at me.

I steeped downwards, into my seat

and that’s where I caught freedom,

waiting for me, like a lilac.

I ended thought, and I ended story.

I stopped designing, and arguing, and

sculpting a happy life.

I didn’t die. I didn’t turn to dust.

Instead I chopped vegetables,

and made a calm lake in me

where the water was clear and sourced and still.

And when the ones I loved came to it,

I had something to give them, and

it offered them a soft road out of pain.

I became beloved.

And I came to know that this was it.

The quiet power.

I could give something mighty, lasting,

that stopped the wheel of chaos,

by tending to the river inside,

keeping the water rich and deep,

keeping a bench for you to visit.

-Tara Sophia Mohr

I haven't recovered yet after reading this poem the other day.  It has lingered on my mind and has required more of me than normal.   My brother used to look at art and at times it would pain him to leave as if the painting needed more of his time.   I felt that way with this one.   The metaphor of making a calm lake inside captured my imagination.  It didn't say "find" the lake... it said "make" one.  Very different tone and action.

I knew immediately that I wanted that.... but I knew also in the same instance that I was keeping myself from that place of calm.  I was the one causing my own turbulence in my own soul.  I found myself "owning" up to this fact.  The poem caused me to realize that it is worth the effort to create this calm clear water inside.  Not just for oneself... but as a means of inviting others.  The quiet power of calm.  How incredibly impactful that energy is.  I want it.... now so it can invite others to find a moment to pause, visit and then continue on their own journey.  You know people like this don't you?  It doesn't take long for their names to come to your memory.  They somehow have figured it out.... to not get in their own way.  To have an outward mindset, to build that bench so a visitor like you or me can come and sit and reflect ourselves.  We never feel judged or compared with...   A place where any visitor can dip their soul's ladle deep many times, to drink fully and then leave with lasting impressions.  I love these that have created their own calm lake.  Can I do it?

Yes, the more I think about this quiet power.... I want it... now.   Don't you?  To find a soft road out of pain.....

Let's tend together.

Tell me

"Tell me", he wanted to say,

"everything in the whole world."

In his shoes

I took a walk today.....  It started as nothing.  I had been indoors all day long.  I felt the kick to get up and move.  I went to the closet, fished out a pair of tennis shoes and plugged them on and off I went....

.... It was about 7:30pm and the sky had that very cool golden summer glow about it.  It was warm, but not too much....good warm, if that makes sense.  I had no idea where I was going to go, I totally let my feet just do the thinking for me this time.... It was great.  I couldn't wait to see where they would take me.....

Somewhere in the middle I glanced down and realized I didn't recognize the shoes I was wearing.  I stopped turned one foot to the side and saw the familiar Nike swoosh... "Oh!  These are Braden's" I said to myself.   "Cool!"  They fit great.   That was when things changed.... suddenly my walk turned into something quite remarkably different than what I had set out for...... yes, good different.....

I found my thoughts turning towards and tuning into him.  I imagined him in the MTC, doing the things missionaries do there to get ready for their landing place. As I imagined him this feeling of reverence came over me.  I was walking in his shoes....  Woah!   A very powerful emotion washed over me and it it was important.  I had never done that before..... that is, to try and be Braden for a few minutes....  I felt the magnitude of what he was doing.  His commitment to his Heavenly Father to sacrifice 2 years of his life to go to a foreign country, learn Thai, which is so wicked hard to learn and more importantly leave some very very special people behind to do this... and I am not talking about his family!

For a guy who doesn't share very much out loud with words, I felt a mountain load of what might be going on inside this guy in a flash.  I felt the weight of his love for this gospel, for his Savior and for his God.  I felt his testimony, I felt a lifetime of doing right, of inch by inch preparing for this particular moment.  The more that came to me, the waterfall of emotions cascading down my soul I realized how very special it was that I had put my feet into his shoes for this walk.  It was an honor to put myself "in his shoes", to trigger a glimpse of his life as he sees it.  I couldn't do it very well.  Braden's brain is different than most.  I am not smart to be able to break things down as he does.  So, I pretended to know, to see and to feel what he might but I quickly realized I was so out of his league, it was undescribably wonderful to walk "with him", as if wearing his shoes brought him right there with me.  I loved that idea so much that I started talking to him as if he were there... So silly I know!  But it was so cool.   In fact.... it was quite beautiful.

Have you ever done that?   Try it... I invite you.... go find a pair of someone else's shoes  (that fit!)  and take a walk.  Imagine them with you.  Be open... and let it all come.  I am curious for what you experience and more importantly what you learn from it.

I went for a walk today... I left alone, but I came back not alone....with more than I left.    The best part is I know I can do it again.... and again.  I have a way to find him now, while he is away.  What a great secret to know.

My heart is so full... Braden,  thank you for leaving those shoes...you left a part of you that I can find....

You had no idea did you?  

Reminders

I was reminded today that I here for a purpose, that I have meaning, that I am important and that no matter how small my contribution is, that any positive effort I make can be magnified beyond my own comprehension by forces greater than my understanding.

The world is darkening...they said....I see it.  Confusion is at the heart of it all.  New weird definitions, less focus outward, more inward.

And yet I also heard that there is more light present today then ever before....and that it will grow stronger.  I have come to a certain understanding and belief in many things.... but despite that, I find myself questioning things.  I dip and drop at times into depression, uncertainty, and bewilderment.  Then I find reminders all around me.... little post it notes coming down from above like leaves in my peripheral vision, not always paying attention, then....when I focus I see them, and take a minute to actually read them.  I stop, reflect and I open up.....the good feelings come, not sure exactly how, but they come, mostly I know from whom they come.....

We think we know so much, that we don't need anyone else, then in 5 seconds we can feel so alone, completely misunderstood wondering who we are.  Is it just me or are we that fragile?  

In those small dark moments, there is nothing quite like the right reminder....like a burst of light filling us up with inspiration and hope. 

Yes, today I heard many reminders.....they filled my tank, at times my brain was happy, and more often my heart was.  One such reminder was to do a self-check.... How am I doing?  What else can I do?  Where can I help?  How can I love better?  How do I get out of myself and focus on the needs of others?  Sometimes I felt like "Yes, I am pretty good there."  and other times I was like "Oh my.... def need to do more there..."

Today I looked for inspiration and found it everywhere.....In every reminder given.  I am buoyed up with hope.

Thank Heaven for General Conference

Growing up

I have never been that great about the idea of growing up.  I don't recall ever wanting to be big or an adult.  I exerted a lot of effort to resist that unyielding hand of life's clock.  I always thought staying young was the best way for me to make sense out of my life.

As the saying goes...
"You can pay now or pay later"
I believe in that slogan.  It is very very true.  Deciding to almost always pay later has played out in my life.  Despite adept rationalization, the mirror eventually comes out and no matter how long you keep your eyes squeezed together, they eventually peek open, and the truth shines in.  What you do about that afterwards..... well, that is all about growing up.

Have you ever had the experience of making the right decision but finding out it led you to the wrong path?

At first glance it doesn't seem to make sense.... making the right choice should lead to the right path,  right?  You would think that most healthy adults wouldn't get this wrong.....

Several years ago someone close shared with me a story called "The Wrong Road".   The basic premise is, sometimes the fastest most effective way to find the right path is to take the wrong one temporarily....

This story was different than most and I immediately made a connection with it but wasn't sure why...... meaning, didn't seem to make sense intellectually, yet emotionally I felt the power of the principle it taught, but I couldn't say that I related to it through personal experience.   I knew it was profound then..... what I didn't know was how real it was going to get for me in a very personal way.

I recently made a decision to position my career on a different trajectory.  It was an intentional accelerated path intended to get to higher status, more prestige, enhanced reputation, more money and more longer-term security. Opportunities unfolded right before me.  The architecture of the plan felt natural, at times inspired and full of promise.  It had tradeoffs for sure, but when one is in design mode and just "drawing" cool fluffy models and concepts on paper those tradeoffs seem.....  dimmer and less likely to happen....

I involved all the right stakeholders; my family, friends, wife and Heaven.  My enthusiasm was high and probably influenced some of them for sure.  But I thought I was "even keeled" in my approach.  I thought I was making a very "Grown up" decision.  Oh yeah, I was putting on my big boy pants.

This plan was a lot about me and wasn't that entirely considerate of my family.  (Yeah... that is sounding more and more grown up......) I would be leaving them,  moving to San Francisco and then monthly coming back to visit for a long weekend for some period of time until with the planned possibility of moving out there.  Lot's of unknowns, but the first steps seemed solid enough to move forward.

So I set off....I was going to show the world that confident and ambitious man that I had grown into...

It didn't take long.  Intentional isolation from loved ones quickly lost its' glossy gleam.  What looked so good on paper, was....... not, in practice. The shiny golden apple looked more like rust.

I started to look around and felt pretty small..... pretty alone.... pretty much not grown up at all......

I felt drawn to the only place that seemed comfortable.......this particular mat next to my bed where my knees seemed to fit pretty well.   I knew it was of high quality because my knees could stay there a lot longer than normal without discomfort.

Funny how silly man must look to God at times.....I resisted the feeling of self pity, and began an earnest dialogue...... it felt great, so long overdue.   There was much to be thankful for, but there were a lot of questions I now had.

The answers were interesting.  I didn't expect them.  But as they surfaced I did recognize them.  I saw myself in them.  I had to face the fact that I was not really leading a life of faith, but rather, one where I had believed in faith, but wasn't making decisions by faith.  Totally giving up what I thought was best and placing my trust that God did know what was best.  I started to see pretty big holes in this beautifully architected plan of mine.  All the holes reminded me of the 14 year old that was still lingering in me.  I had to grow up....the time had come.

1.  The first clue was pretty glaring and potentially embarrassing to admit.     "Aaron, go back to your family"     I had started reading the Book of Mormon all over again and in the first few verses of the first few chapters there was great counsel given to a family to stay together and not to split up.
I was in a position where I purposefully isolated myself from my family.   I was in a horrible position to go "back"after moving away and just starting the coolest new job.  The overwhelming temptation was to rake myself over the coals and begin the comfortable self-berating and loathing process of feeling like I had messed up, that I was stupid and spiritually tone deaf!   I resisted..... in fact, I can say that I refused to go to that old familiar and unhelpful place.  I found a new place.  A place where my head let my heart learn.  A place of no judgement, no rationalization, just truth and acceptance as if I just came across a new little nugget of data that made sense so I accepted it for what it was.  Nothing more, nothing less...... "Aaron, go back to your family."    My feet grew a few sizes into the shoes I needed to wear.

2.  The second clue of the emerging deconstruction was about where my plan was pointed.  I had rationalized that new found fame and fortune would enable me to serve family and God somehow better in the future with the realization of this plan.    I kept reading the scriptures.  2 Nephi 28:31   helped shine a mirror on me that I wasn't sure I was ready to see.   There were several passages that kept referring to "Pride."  Every time I heard it something inside said "listen...."   The unraveling came and clarity surfaced......   Everything about my plan was about me, what I wanted which then I assumed would be what God wanted too.  I assumed it was what my family wanted.  It made sense, it wasn't inherently "bad", but what it wasn't........was.......God's plan.   This was all about me figuring everything out and then taking action.  Nothing wrong with "acting" vs being "acted upon", it was what I had always been taught about taking initiative and leading out proactively.  Taking ownership and responsibility. Specific scriptures were like sharp swords that cut me like a thousand ribbons..... not the proactive part, but the "me, me, me" part.

When you take the 'me' out of your life you look around and have to figure out where you can find foundation and a sense of purpose........ That mat by the bed become precious to me as the long days wore on.    I knelt differently each time now.... I was asking different questions.  What did He want?  What were His priorities for me?  How could I help Him with those?   The short answer come back as ...... "Faith".

So, taking the wrong road is a great way to be exposed to the principle of faith.  But, for me the road to understanding had to start with deconstructing and removing my pride.

Getting rid of pride is like stripping wallpaper off of a 1940's home.....  Not easy, not fun, and often made me feel like quitting.  For the first time in my life I let the mirror show just how much pride I had built up despite my flimsy attempts at rationalizing my behavior.    I was able to see the reflection very clearly and immediately could see what was getting in the way.  I continued to reject the reflex to castigate myself for being so "bad".  I knew I wasn't a bad person, but had to not let myself feel that way.  I just took it in the gut, got back up and started waking a different direction, leaving whatever I thought I needed to do behind.  Those first few steps is where faith really plays out....  Only then did I start to understand what living by faith meant... it was not having the answers, not knowing and really learning to trust that God loved me in a very different way.... in a way that would never let me go astray or fall if I just gave my life what I thought was important over to Him.  I had heard that principle my entire life, I had heard so many people talk about it happening to them, but I had to be honest.... I don't think I had ever really experienced it until now, at least not in a meaningful way.  Only now did I start to see what growing up really meant.

I quit the so called dream job, came back to my family, miraculously some temporary work surfaced, the prospect of new employment is real and unsure, but I feel continue to feel calm and peace and know things will work out if I can keep my pointing right.

there is more.... more deconstruction, more unraveling more new insights related other aspects of my personal life and relationships, but I will stop here.  This is plenty.

So, not sure if any of this would make sense to anyone else, but I share it as it has been so impactful on my life and person.  I have no counsel, no wisdom, no lessons here.  I belief every person needs to be deconstructed so they can be built back up to their full potential. The only way to is figure out how to get out of our own way, and have some sense that there is someone like God that can help.

It was a beautiful thing to watch my kids grow into their respective shoes so well.  They seemed to get it better, more clearly and willingly than I. In so many ways they are more grown up than I will ever be....

I pray you are much wiser than me.  That you learn these lessons sooner than I did.
The wholeness of my admiration is for you who have learned to fill those shoes so well.  I thank you for your example of living by faith each day.

You have grown up so beautifully and it shows....

Just Being

It was spring break.... great weather.....we def seized the day.  
I made the tee time and texted Landon and Braden  and told them to be ready to go golf.  I arrived home and they were waiting with three golf bags in the back of the van....oh yeah!

It was completely awesome....  got a cart, loaded up, but not before we supplied ourselves with three 32oz Dr. Peppers full of ice, milky ways stashed in a deep pocket of our golf bags for later (ok, we didn't actually have the Milky Way's but we should have..... and, they only would have lasted til the second hole) and absolutely no expectations of doing anything else but pretending to focus on technique we knew little about, mimicking the pro's with little wigs and wags of hips, feet and hands..... Every swing was like a new adventure, cause none of us knew where that little ball might go.  So, yes, very exciting!  There is a certain freedom that comes with a clear mind free from expectation.....and very little skill!  

I can't lie, it was kinda cool too that this course was super low cost.   One or two levels up from a well mowed farm meadow.

Isn't it so great to accidentally hit a lucky shot and then feel your chest and head swell with enormous confidence!  We immediately throw out the idea that it was just dumb luck and we entertain the new forming fantasy of "tour pro".

Ha!  Golf is the great "deconstructor"  It can reduce you to a pile of rubble if you start to care too much.  We managed to navigate that mine field pretty well.

Forget golf though.... that had little to do with what was happening.  This was all about just being together and taking the time to just soak......As if slowly sipping through the straw....like making a drink last for a really long time....sweetness all the way.

That will be all I remember, not anything we said, not any club selection, not counting strokes or glancing at the time on our phones.  We simply basked in the slow roll of the afternoon.

It was better than perfect.... it was..... "just right" 

Priceless..... 

Uber... The best laid plans

You looked so good on paper.... very seductive.  Hate to part ways but I must.....

It was short, sweet and definitely marked me in a powerful way.
I will look back and realize that so little of the journey had anything to do with Uber, but so much about me, my family and my journey....

How mysterious His ways are... I just pray I will have learned all the things I was supposed to..... time will tell.

So Uber......I loved rubbing shoulders with you.... it was truly a pleasure to feel the power of your cause, share in the intensity of the spotlight and to see what changing the world really  looks like.  I was inspired......and a bit not.
I am grateful for the glimpse, the sip, the taste of something so unusual and fascinating.  Super smart and bright people are just people after all.... Smartness doesn't = experience.   Experience doesn't = smartness.  They both need each other.... Hard to leave as I probably won't experience something like that ever again.

I am not sure how far you will go, how high you will rise.... no matter.      Loved the ride.....

Adieu

Soulmates

Over the years I have considered, pondered and have even written a bit about this notion of "soulmates."  I concluded that I had finally figured it out.... I am not so sure now.....some recent events have brought some doubt and dents to that definition.

And I am kinda glad......I like this one better. It is much more real, and has unfolded so beautifully before my eyes.....

This definition has been forming for a lifetime, but only in the past couple of years has it made itself manifest so marvelously.

McKenna and Braden are the opposite of sibling rivalry.... They are the fiercest of sibling alliances.  They aren't just "close", they have their own secret language, the one that doesn't need words.  The one that involves "knowing" something that no one else does.  The cosmic collaboration of communicative nuances and mind blowing telepathy. When the words do come out only they get it and usually they are on the floor laughing so hard it makes you laugh as well.  It is like a river of continuously flowing water, moving with its' own momentum and grace.  It can't be duplicated, regurgitated, redone, faked or copied..... it is magic.  It is incredible to watch and there is a ping of jealousy that one feels because it is so infectious you want to catch this particular disease faster than all the others, but you can't... even with lots of over exposure... simply, it is theirs alone.

What began with a little fistbump doo dad thing they do when they meet is just the beginning... Now they not only can speak for each other, but can pretty much emote what the other is feeling.   I hear about how identical twins have some amazing connections, this is like that, but different.

What this has led to is a pretty dramatic pinky promise they decided to make a few months ago: To serve their missions together at the same time.  They decided that they would get their mission calls on the same day, go the same place, speak the same language and actually end up as each other's companions as well! Ha! it doesn't quite work that way, but the idea on paper was really cool.  They weren't even going to tell anyone either and make it a surprise!  Well, I kinda messed all that up with my crazy idea to leave the family and go work in San Francisco (blog post coming...)  They ended up telling me so everyone knew, but then it was fun to be in on it for the ride....Man, the laughs we had along the way...

So, they did it..... physicals were completed, wisdom teeth pulled, interviews, applications and boom...they were waiting for their calls.  It didn't seem real until McKenna's call came.  Then we knew Braden's was on its' way.....his came last friday morning at 6am.  Then it got really real.   We had a big party, about 50 people came.  The mix of people was incredible... how cool that a mission call can bring out so many different people, all of whom have shaped their lives so much.

They opened and read their calls... McKenna - Montevideo Uruguay, Braden - Bangkok, Thailand.   The emotions run deep.  The gratitude deeper.... the level of awe and respect I have for them to make these huge life changing choices.... off the charts.

Wow!  amazing.....  I always wanted to expose my kids to the life I had growing up overseas, but couldn't quite give them that.  Now they are getting it through their own individual experiences.  Landon - Chinese, now with Spanish and Thai to add to the mix... pretty global..... pretty cool!

I think about this amazing memory they are creating together.  They will have this story forever, and will tell it to their own kids.  I can see the letters they will write each other..... sharing as only they can.  They will grow old and later, when their own kids are gone, and they are roasting marshmallows at the fire of their own twilight, this story will be told again.  It will bring bright memories that only they can know to their minds and their hearts, that this was about doing this service together, on their own terms, in their own particular way.  As much as I want to be part of this dance, I know I am just observing.  That is all I can do, is hope to be close to watch their magic continue throughout their lives.  Yes..... it is a beautiful thing to behold.  Watching might be all I can do, but it will be enough. I wish you could see it....it is something.

May 24th they leave together, on the same day..... could it be any other way?

Yes, it is awesome to see each of your kids grow and develop into incredible people.  To see this kind of bond?  unexpected and mind blowing.....   I bask in the glow they create.  The blessing is too great to handle... yes, my definition of soulmates has changed.   May this one live a long time....

McKenna and Braden, what can I say?  I love you,  God speed.... go do your thing... and maybe your magic will change the world.

The Long View

This is the only drawing I know how to draw.  Anyone who knows me has seen this at least once. I hope this bring a smile to those who have.
I have drawn this same landscape for over 20 years now...I have never really not known why until now.   The words on the sign have changed over time, but the picture as a framework has been consistent over time.

It is like a "system", with individual components when integrated make it "whole".  There is context here...a background, a foreground, a beginning, middle and an end, a path, a direction, guidance, yes, one might say it conveys a vision of a journey.  The journey looks like it may take some time... not so long, but also not traveled in one day either.  One can see the end...I call it "The Long View."

I am not sure I completely understand what "Good stuff ahead" really means.  Despite being the one who wrote those words, I can't say that I know.  But I really liked it when those words came to me. Either the romantic idealist in me or just simple truth.  Good things are up ahead.

Does it seem like to you that the world has just gone completely crazy in the past 5 - 7 years....? Although I have seen the declining decay for decades, someone flipped the switch that has turned everything upside down.  I do not even understand what I see, hear or read anymore.... It is unbelievable.  Right is wrong, wrong is right, definitions are completely changing and it is happening literally before my eyes.  I have felt fear and even panic sometimes...every day the world seems to escalate more towards hatred.

Never has the long view seemed so clear as now.....   My little cute dumb picture has been a silent template in my mind that has kept me looking long... not short.  It has stretched my view... helped me me see further, higher beyond the rocks and potholes in the road.  It has kept my eyes lifted up, pointing higher, sometimes squinting to see what I can see.... There is something up there, I can't quite draw it, but it seems right.  It feels right too.

There is something in the simplicity of the one sign, the one path, the one sun, the one horizon, the one direction.  The more I gaze and reflect the more I realize I don't need more than that.  Can I be content with just what is there?  Will that be enough to get me through?  Strangely, I believe the answer is "yes", it is enough for me.  The answer that has been forming in my heart and mind recently is that I need to stay simpler.  For a guy who likes to over analyze and keep things complicated it is saying something.  For the first time in my life, I want to be simpler.  I think it is the only way through this journey for me.  Simple faith, simple hope, simple love and less clutter in the living room of my brain.

Maybe the only question I need to ask each day is: "Is this decision today going to help me in the long run?"  or "How will I feel 10 years down the line if I make this choice today?"  Would these be enough to steer me clear of the landmines just ahead of me?

I like the puffy clouds, I like the shadowy mountains but mostly I like this little star guy...... with his little hat and little smile.  He has worn these two things for all of his existence. The brim of his hat pointing forever forward.... his knowing smile because he either sees or knows something about the future.  I like that......  I never knew this until now but am so grateful because I needed to know what he has always known.... to look for the long view,  cause apparently....... there is good stuff ahead!

I wonder what your long view looks like?  I wish you well on our journey.....