An Uncommon Love

I would like to introduce you to Braden Aaron Brown and Abigail Elizabeth Wadley. 

Braden + Abby

Two extraordinary people.  The type of people that would wince at my suggesting that word....(which already says loads about them)......The type of people that thrive in absolute zero attention space. The type of people that somehow manage to distance themselves from the accolades that seem to shower around them consistently.  What is most uncommon is that they both never let themselves truly "inhale" the compliments.......Rather, they say thank you.....smile--because they are smart enough to know that you, the giver, needs to feel good for giving the compliment, and then they "snap back to grid" to that place where superlatives do not exist.  In essence, they are quietly gracious.......Uncommon?   I would say yes.

They have known each other since they were in grade school.  They became friends in 7th grade.  Braden, painfully shy, someone who would do almost anything to keep any attention or notice directed his way, showed up in a way that caught this young girl's attention.   His gift was that he knew who he was at a very young age.  He found his footing early and has never veered since.  He was a young man that had decided early in life, that he was going to "go about and do good" (Acts 10:38) in every interaction, in every relationship, in every thought and deed.  It is no small thing to remember who this scripture referred to and the profound parallels it has to Braden.   While we witnessed Braden's behavior and interactions with our own eyes, we didn't have the advantage of seeing Abby growing up but, we have had strong inklings she followed a similar code of life by the way Braden felt drawn to her.  I wouldn't be surprised a bit if her parents saw similar motivations and patterns in their home.....

Uncommon?  I would have to say yes. 

Most young people struggle to navigate the awkwardness of early "teenageship",  Braden seamlessly glided through those messy crags and crevices with an amazing amount of ease and solidity. I am sure he might describe it differently, but it was clear to us that somehow his roots went deeper, and when the wind blew, he was steadfast.....never allowing the tempestuous winds of junior high temptations that blew his way to alter his focus, or his path.  It didn't matter what the world threw at him to try and knock him off his feet, it never worked.....I am sure it was frustrating to those that tried.  What was especially cool was that no one really wanted to.... He managed to be totally integrated with academics, sports, music, friends and yet was able to fly adeptly under the mainstream radar exquisitely with the sophistication of a trained fighter pilot. An unusual talent for high schooler..... Uncommon?  I would say yes.

 And there is this Abby person.... Wow!  You would love her!  You would probably only need about 5 minutes to find out too.  A smile that would melt an iceberg, a differentiated disposition honed her entire life to be loving, kind, and generous.... the kind of generosity that flows freely.  When she pays attention, she really does.....no fake smiles or laughs.  She is so smart, intellectual, precise in her calculations--whatever they may be (lots of spreadsheets!!) and perfectly balanced with her constant beautiful smile and wonderful sense of humor.  She has super high emotional intelligence -- she is able to adeptly walk into a situation, observe the room, the situation, the people, and react just right.  Mostly it works because she wears a  countenance that puts you at ease........ immediately.

Uncommon....To me, yes.

You see Abby, equally extraordinary, was observing from afar.... she wasn't looking for the typical Junior High School boys most girls would.... it wasn't the sports, the clothes, the neighborhood or the car (The car was cool however..!) .....No, she had a different gaze.... it was deeper and went under the surface of stuff.  It took more time, more consideration, more precision, but she saw something that was not obvious to almost everyone else.  She saw Braden's heart early on.  She watched him act quietly.  He didn't say much, but his actions, how he interacted with others, and how he carried himself was loud and clear.  She zero'd in on a different target.......and set things in motion that forever change both their trajectories....... and Braden didn't seem to complain too much! 

It happened quietly, without commotion, and very little noise......This thing....this uncommon love.  How two 7th graders could be so stealthy--so wise, so young?  I don't know.....Did they see this coming way back then?  The idea that maybe there was this very tiny seed of an idea... that germinated into a possibility of something more is irresistible.....and very cool.   I would like to believe that maybe these little post it notes of possibilities would come to them, maybe while eating lunch on the sidewalk at school each day, or thinking of each other during class......that this precious thing they were growing, could eventually lead to something as incredible as the eternal union they will be forming today.  

I love the way they found each other, grew together and found love.  While this may not sound that different than other love stories, The way they did it was uniquely theirs....special,  intimate, powerful and uncommon.  

What they will do next will be no less impressive.  They have framed a perfect  and precise blueprint of how they want to live their lives.  I think about the vise grips pliers I have in my toolbox.  The kind that once locked on--don't come off......That is what these two have done.  They have locked their "vise grips" tight around how they want to live leaving no question in anyone's mind about what will result.....They will go about doing good for the rest of their lives.

Talk about an intentional life! 

So, with the help of a little tune we like to sing at home, we send you off into your heart shaped sea.

"All I needed was the love you gave

All I needed for another day

And all I ever knew

Only you...."

Meaning in a messy room.....

If there is one truly elusively impossible thing for Landon, my oldest son, it is keeping his room clean.  he would rather have a root canal or go through surgery before tackling that task.  

I almost never go in there, for obvious reasons, but because there was something that Landon had lost, probably his Drivers License for the 2nd or 3rd time, but can't remember for sure now, I found myself slowly opening the door to the den of disgusting teenagehood.   I slowly entered, and realized I could not see floor.....  literally.  I saw the stacks of post-halloween candy not eaten,  papers from school that were probably from the 6th grade and clothes everywhere.  Probably typical.... 


 I didn't know where to even start.  So, while I begin cursing under my breath I began the impossible task of trying to find a needle in the proverbial haystack.  I started with the the floor.... moved piles of clothes, picked up trash and then slowly moved upward to the desks and things on top of his chest of drawers..... I was in about 45 minutes and realized I was barely making a dent.  I felt the familiar phrases of idle threats that always sounded good when noone was looking.  So, what started with a bit of shock turned into rising disappointment which then progressed into frustration and anger.  If only he could take care of all the things we had bought him, if only he could appreciate all the "things" we had 
acquired for him... If only, if only, if only.....were now coming out in words from my mouth in the empty room.  I finally decided to quit...This was ridiculous, I looked up and stretched my back and neck moving my head around clockwise......something on the walls caught my fleeting glance.


I stopped and looked up at the walls....... There were dozens of papers, posters, photos etc... taped to his wall.  I hadn't even noticed when I walked in... I looked around... There, up high next to his bunk bed were more on another wall.  Decided to go in for a closer look......


I wasn't prepared for the experience that took place in the next 30 minutes. Once I forgot about the task at hand, why I was in there and chose to soak in the content on the "walls", I found myself blown away..... He had numerous letters from good friends telling him how much they appreciated him and his friendship.  They looked up to him.  They shared experiences of how he listened to them, how he helped them and encouraged them when others didn't.  These were from both girls and boys.  Some were just cute and silly, but others were profound. I lost myself and track of time as I proceeded to read more.  I found incredible quotes from poets, writers, philosophers etc.....  Most were ones from my favorites like Gibran and others.... I found myself reflecting back on personal letters I had written Landon using Gibran's work trying to help him understand me, his mother and our relationship. These letters came from times of great joy and during times of tension.  I found myself reading these quotes that now, somehow had found greater meaning in his life.  He was now sharing these with others.... he had made them his own.  


Many strong emotions streamed over me as I read.  It was like I was on a seriously important 'field trip' learning all about Landon, for the first time.  I was stunned to the degree he was front and center to so many of his friends.  He was making a deep impact on them and them on him.  I was so impressed with his willingness to showcase these on his own walls, just as a reminder to himself of who he was, that he was this positive force.  It was completely satisfying and heartwarming to relish in those little beautiful pieces of of his life, all in different places over his walls.....


...... I left differently than I came in.  I felt I had paid homage to a small shrine in his honor.  I wanted to honor him and thanked God for that experience.  The spirit was strong and I felt my respect and love for him grow deeper in my heart.  


Somehow his room didn't seem so messy..... the clothes insignificant......they were replaced by a warm glow. I will trade a messy room to "find" my son any day of the week.   I pay more attention now to new additions to the wall and less of new clothes on the floor.