Beauty doesn't fade

 I find it extraordinary that beauty can be defined in so many ways.  It can be found in a variety of literal, symbolic and metaphysical definitions. I have been thinking about what beauty is to me, my own definition and where the source of that meaning comes from.  

Like many, over the years, I have tried to develop a deeper appreciation for what is beautiful that doesn't come from purely a physical phenomena.  I have glimpsed more deeply beyond the surface and consider what else is going on that isn't just "skin deep."

Have you ever known very attractive people that seem by all cultural standards seem to fit a certain definition of what beautiful is and then through observing their character and actions their "physical" beauty doesn't seem to be so alluring after all?.... Have you ever noticed how quickly that can change your perspective...Like literally in 5 seconds?

And what about the converse situation-the one where you see someone that may not fit that same physical definition of beautiful but as you take a deeper look, and wander around in their heart and observe the way they think, the way they see the world, the way they treat others, you find that their physical beauty seems to grow in leaps and bounds?  I find the irony so fascinating.... and so...... beautiful itself.

I learned this recently again.... 

Someone I became acquainted with didn't dress right, didn't have all the emotional intelligence skills, they suffered with some social skills and seemed to have imperfect timing of telling a joke that wasn't really funny but didn't know it.  They wouldn't probably be posting a lot of selfies on Instagram let's say...  I remember framing a certain perspective of this person over some period of time and felt I had them "pegged."  It was during a trust building game at work when I learned the hardships this person had experienced and overcome during their life.  They never knew their parents, went through the foster care system with 3 different families.  Never had lunch money for school. Didn't have the resources that most others had.  I learned they had a younger sister that had to be watched over as well.  This person would bring popsicles in a portable thermos freezer to school and sell them to kids to get lunch money for the both of them.  The foster parents never knew.  They managed to graduate from high school and then somehow managed to put themselves through college and received a degree.  They were painfully aware of their poor communication skills and were deathly afraid of speaking to others.  So in college this person intentionally took a comedy improvisation class to force herself to face inherent fears of public speaking and being put on the spot.  This was all told during different rounds of this game.  I listened very intently and literally before the end of the game I saw something completely different than when I started.  I noticed there wasn't a hint of victim stance, no martyr behavior, no complaints, no "woe is me" talk.  Just straightforward sharing..... I was blown a way.  I felt a bit ashamed of how I had so quickly formed those opinions.  I felt the lump in the throat come as I listened and tried to imagine challenges that I will never understand or known in my life.  I saw courage,  bravery, and commitment that was uncommon.   I saw this incredibly beautiful person instead.  

Beauty cannot be objectified or envisioned—it must be understood, felt.

I find it ironic that I can't see my own beauty as much as I can see yours....In fact, I may go to great lengths to dismiss it, not even letting myself tinker with the idea. It has something to do with not being able to accept compliments in a way that is truly believing.  If we did, we would just say "Thank you" and be done with it.  But, if you are like me, I find myself weaving some long-winding tapestry of unhelpful dialogue that attempts to pass it off as something that isn't really part of me, like it was a fluke or something that would never really show up again.  I want to say that I am getting better at not doing this.  I have developed a keener sense that when I do it is not a beautiful thing.  It gets in the way of the reality that there is beauty in offering an honest and authentic compliment.  It is not a graceful thing to not accept that, despite our own misgivings or disagreement.  Even that is ironic.....

It is very interesting to learn that so many apparently "attractive" people almost never believe it.  It isn't actually helpful to tell them or remind them.  It almost seems like a burden they bear most of their lives because they have bought into a definition the world has imposed or determined is accurate.  They even might believe that they are not worthy of the love that they are deserving of because they do not see their own beauty in a holistic spiritual way. 

I know many that would hold onto their physical appearance with all their might, such as they go to great lengths to stay the hands of father time as if engaged in an inevitable elusive tug-of-war with each tick tock of the clock. Is there anything wrong with that?  No, of course not.  I think how we take care of ourselves if vitally important for our own self-worth. It builds confidence that can enhance the beautiful things that we think, say and do.

And a poet said, Speak to us of Beauty.

     And he answered:

     Where shall you seek beauty, and how

shall you find her unless she herself be your

way and your guide?

     And how shall you speak of her except

she be the weaver of your speech?

Beauty doesn't fade... it gets revealed through our dispositions, attitudes and actions.  It only fades if we stop being who we are and we give into the wrong definitions.  

 People of Orphalese, beauty is life when

life unveils her holy face.

     But you are life and you are the veil.

     Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in

 a mirror.

     But you are eternity and you are 

the mirror.

It only fades if you want it to.... I choose to always see the beauty in you.