Advice for Life.....for Free

I will never forget the first time I heard a most unusual and unique Pop hit called:

EVERBODY'S FREE (TO WEAR SUNSCREEN) 12/06/1999

I was in my car when I first heard it and found it so catchy. I had no idea who the artist was and like every other time I have heard a great song on the radio, the DJ's didn't announce the name at the end! (Ever happen to you?--drives me nuts!!) I remember how distinctively some of the words and concepts in the song immediately felt "right on" to me. I found myself trying really hard to listen intently while trying not to get in a wreck at the same time. It was hard...

When I finally found out it was Baz Luhrman I was thrown for a loop. I only knew him from his first movie "Strictly Ballroom" which is one of my favorites. (*Highly recommended)

So, hearing a tune by him was odd and out of place, but yet at the same time, it wasn't as he is such a versatile and creative individual. In fact, I am not sure if he ever released any other record since, although he is extremely musical and weaves it into all of his work. (Moulin Rouge was incredibly interesting and his noveau modern interpretation of Romeo+Juliet was another eccentric brilliant piece *Not for all).

I am not sure what hit me today that reminded me of this most interesting little record, but as I pulled it out of the "cold storage" for the first time in many many years I was hit by how much of it still resounded in my bones.

There are nuggets of truth here, at least for me and I see lots of application in my life. In fact, I found myself mentally highlighting particular words and/or phrases that have meaning for me. In ended up doing so in RED. Ironically, I must admit that I have actually taken and pondered much of his advice, which he openly acknowledges as "worthless", which is probably why I listened a bit more carefully from the onset.

I encourage you to click on the link above and see the video for yourself. I have posted the words below. I may elaborate on some highlighted sections over time. Some now and some later..... Still need to think about that.

I hope you enjoy as much as I have and if you don't, maybe it will still make you think and do a self check on your own life.....are you close or far? Noone says you have to be one or the other, but for me, I want to be "close", so I keep checking in on myself to see if I am still dancing.......no matter where I am.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’97Wear Sunscreen

 

"If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh never mind, you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now, how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked, you are not as fat as you imagine.

 

Don’t worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

 

Sing

 

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy, sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind, the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults, if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life, the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

 

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, Maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary What ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

 Enjoy your body, use it every way you can, don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Brother and sister together we'll make it through. Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there. I know you've been hurtin', but I've been waitin' to be there for you. And I'll be there just helping you out whenever I can.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings, they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard, Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel....

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

 Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, Maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

........But trust me on the sunscreen

If you were here today......

If you were here today..... 

Here is what you wouldn't do first.....

• Clean the kitchen
• Sweep the floor
• Cast a glancing eye at the dust here and there
• Roll your eyes at the McDonald's bag on the counter

These never were your strengths and thank Heaven they weren't, even though you spent a lifetime worrying over them.  I am glad they really didn't matter in the end.....

Here is what you would do instead: 

• You would be anxious to hear the kids sing and dance, (only you would be able to get them to do it too!) 

• You wouldn't be able to restrain the urge to teach them something along the way as well, some dance move, or encouragement for something artistic. 

• You would "ooh" and "ahh" no matter what they did and you would make them feel like it was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.

• You would tell them the stories of how you would dance as a little girl with your sisters for the troops during WWII and how the soldiers would throw pennies on the stage which you loved!

• You would tell them to smile and shine all the time

• You would squeeze every detail of worth out of each moment

• You wouldn't dare leave without letting each know of their infiinte worth and potential and how the Lord would bless them.

• You would make each one of them feel so unique and special.

• You would give them each a breathless tight hug, as if it would be your last....  

They would feel your excitement and enthusiasm for true and free expression....  They would start practicing the minute you left for the next visit.

As I play the film in my mind's eye, it is so clear and vivid that it is as if you really were here.  I know the script, I can hear the dialogue, I know all the camera angles, yes...even when to zoom in on a particular moment. 

Predictable plot?  Oh yes!, but always special. 

I know the beginning, middle and end.... oh, the ends were so hard...the longing looks, the hugs that didn't need to be so tight, but were anyway.  

Your film is perfect, always re-watchable, always in technicolor, always ending with a lump in the throat.

Keep dancing Mom, never stop and thank you for that lasting legacy....... abraco,

Happy Mothers Day 

  

Finishing Positions

Accidentally came across this on FB today... on my brother's page...... It is my Mom, in her teens doing hula. The skirt was made from soft rope sent her by her brother Milo from the Philippines while he was in the service. If I haven't mentioned it before, Mom was a professional dancer and teacher. She taught dance to hundreds of people all throughout the world all different styles of dance. My love of dance came from her love and passion for dance....

She put on more shows than you can count.  She loved the idea of performance -- not to show off, or to please her ego of the "guru" teacher, rather it was to show beauty.  She knew that her students wouldn't understand this lesson unless they performed.  Performance was to build their confidence to do something new and to take that beauty into their lives.  To create something beautiful and to share it with others. She understood that but probably never articulated it that way.....it was always built in to the dance itself.  The audience was also a benefactor by receiving that gift of performance.  To be inspired, to cause emotion, to feel the spirit....

So, me, being the audience of this photo, was completely caught off guard and wasn't prepared to receive the emotional wave of "saudade" that came over me. I had never in my life seen this picture of her before... How can one single perfect stance cause such a stir in my soul?

I was struck by her youthfulness and commitment to her craft. I always knew she loved Dance, but I never understood how much she loved "to" dance..... I knew it, but I realized I never saw her actually dance, other than with Dad informally.  So, it was always Mom the dance "teacher" never the "performer". This simple and oh so elegant photo is exquisite to me.

She always talked about the "details" of dance....like how the arms, hands and fingers were supposed to be positioned. She was a great believer in "follow through" with every dance step or motion. She was all about the total finished and polished ends of dance, not just the steps in between that got you through the dance. I can't remember how many times she would talk and teach these "finishing" principles to her students...(which more often included her kids than others...) 

Mom was not a great orator, speaker or communicator. Expressive, creative and enthusiastic..? Oh yes... but she struggled for the words at times off the dance floor.  The principles were the same regardless...she always taught us about doing the "basics" in life....like cleaning our rooms, dressing with clean clothes, brushing our teach, wearing good shoes, and "finishing" what we started..... she loved and respected people who "followed through". She wanted her kids to live their best lives.

It is so ironic that only now, as I see this photo that I realize that what she taught in Dance class was what she taught us in life.  She wanted us to "end well" not just get through, but to do the basic things that would help us be successful later, to reach our full potential....or in other words to "finish" life's dance with the right positions. She knew that if we could get the basics down pat, then the little nuances of a finger position, a crook of the neck etc... would complete the dance and bring the full performance to perfection.... which I am sure she hoped would be mirrored in our lives.


So, what caught my eye dramatically when I saw this picture? ........It was the absolutely perfect right arm position. The elbow turned so gracefully with a completely "finished" right hand and finger position.....So beautiful and simple it gave me chills.

...She actually "KNEW" what she was talking about... she knew it because she felt it inside and made it apart of her. She never danced sloppily or lazily.....and she didn't want me living my life any differently.... To think she knew this at such a very young age was special. It took my breath away to see her arm, hand and fingers this way for the very first time in my life, only now....ironically,  so many years after she is gone.

I realized in this moment, that I thought Mom was teaching the world to dance, but I realize now that she was teaching us all how to live.

With tears streaming down my face I find myself wanting to let her know that now I know what she meant....... about finishing, ......about doing the basic little details that will ultimately complete the dance of life she had given me. I feel that I now have to reflect on my life and see if I am finishing in a way that she would be pleased with and following through will all the "steps" she taught me...... She left a legacy of her life that far surpassed her greatest performance on stage. She was a consumate artist, but she knew in the end, what was most important were finishing life's and God's steps and movements..... She "finished" her life's dance in perfect dance position and that has made all the difference to me.....

......Mom, I never missed you more than right now.

Birthday Memories

Just had my birthday and got this card....from "Paco". It was hilarious and I loved it. Not only does one benefit from the visual image of Paco dancing, inviting others to join him in the dance of life, but one can also become mesmerized by the sparkles from the actual blue glitter found on the card when in the right light angles!! Wow what a bonus.

Is there a lesson here? Oh absolutely yes, my friend there is..... I have a friend that so reveres me that they would go out of their way to sift through thousands of useless, meaningless Hallmark cards and come up with this gem! Hah! Do you have such a friend?  Makes one think doesn't it.....? I certainly hope you do.. I am lucky I do.

So, yes, today, I will join Paco in his celebration of dance and life...........I just won't wear the frickin' tights

Thanks friend

Dance, Love, Sing.....Live

Brice Royer from TCK posted something today about what one would do if they found out they only had 6 months to live. I like walking through these types of exercises because it helps me do something my Father always taught me.... to not only "see" ahead how things might be....but to "feel" ahead as well...

What quickly started out as a list of things "I" wanted to do.....turned quickly into a list of "People" I would want to see and spend time with. Sure, I would love to finally write enough songs and record that "one" CD, and see Italy and Spain, and go to Wimbledon or the US Open, watch Ronaldinho play "ao vivo", and dance! Nothing wrong with that right?

But, in the end, it would come down to people for me. I would spend 2 weeks making lists of names of everyone....everyone in my life that I could recall, and then spend all of my money, resources and time tracking them down and telling them I loved them and how special they are to me...... the more I think about it....it is the only thing I could do without leaving with regrets...

Yes...without question I would trade a peek at Michelangelo's David for a 1/2 hour walk with my daughter........ and......... along the way, I would ask forgiveness of a few as well....

........What would you do?..... I am curious