My Precious

 

Is it wrong to hope that at the end of things, that there might be new beginnings?  I don't know, but even if there aren't, maybe it is ok if there is simply just an end...... to some things.   

The End, full stop, enough, zero, no mas!....  It would have to mean that there is a place, where there might be a large iron door that could be opened and all the emotions of pain, hurt and suffering could be shoved in, and slowly but surely, we would swing that heavy door shut.

Would that be enough?  Would that do the trick?  What would we do with ourselves if we couldn't nurse the delicious taste of dissatisfaction in our soul any longer?  If we couldn't stare at the statue of justification that we had sculpted so meticulously?  What would replace the familiar bitter taste of beautiful bile that we so carefully marinated and now seems so sweet over time?  What if we didn't have that little horrible secret place where we could lick our wounds and hear our addicted selves say......."My precious" over and over again as we consider our stockpile of hurt?

Could we recognize what was left?  Would we like that new person in the mirror?  How unfamiliar would they seem?  What do we replace all that angst with? 

What if we realized that what we thought the end was, was not to be, in the end after all?  What would that realization feel like? I can already imagine the fear and angst that would create in the pit of my stomach?  Why wasn't it enough to empty it all and shut the door?  

How often do we find ourselves dangling our ring of power over the fires of Mt Doom, unable to ultimately let go?  Ah!  I never thought that would mean something so real to me.  Tolkien understood me better than I thought.

Ending can be as hard as beginning something new.  Ending always incurs some loss...  The idea of leaving something behind isn't always blissful.  Often, it is necessary.  We aren't supposed to like it.  It is more about willingness than ableness, although many say that they just can't forget.... they can forgive, but not forget.  In other words, they can't drop their ring either...Easy to say, hard to do.

May we become more accepting of the person that is left after we close that door.  Let's welcome them back with patience and care and smile at them in the mirror once again.

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us"