Agape

Where does love come from?  Secular evolutionists suggest love is a social construct; merely a function of evolutionary need.  We need a husband or wife to reproduce; we need nurture and protection from parents; we need social love to protect the village.  In other words, love is not a reality, it just appears to us to be.   I wonder if the evolutionist’s wife appreciates when he utters: “I love you, of course......, by that I really mean nothing at all.”

We can either say that feelings are illusions that evolution has invented because they are useful for survival or that they come from a more spiritual source.  If the latter, then could that would mean that love actually matters?...That maybe how we love is important?

F.F. Bruce provides an excellent definition of agape love when he writes that it "involves a consuming passion for the well-being of others". This is an important distinction because humanity is predisposed to love in a self-centered fashion.

I remember living in Jakarta, Indonesia when I was 12 and and first learned about the different types of love.  We lived there during the late 70's and the "love and peace" movement had even reached our international community across the world in an underdeveloped obscure nation.  Some activist-like teenagers had organized well enough to get some funding and sponsorship from the US Embassy to create: "The Agape House".  It was an actual small house where like minded teens could literally hangout and be who they were.  It was accepting of all. They did activities and volunteer projects, but mostly hung out and were part of a community or a club.

I remember wondering what on earth the word "Agape" meant.  I started asking around and then learned first that it wasn't "Eros."  (Side note:  Eros turned out to be "slightly" more intriguing to this 12 year old to be honest, but I digress....  )

I learned that when we love out of eros - we love out of self-interest and in order to acquire and possess the object of our love.  Agape, by contrast, is a self-giving and self-sacrificial kind of love. It is based on God's unconditional love for all creatures. When we love out of agape we reject all self-gain and interest, and surrender ourselves to the other and love them purely for themselves. This was the beginning of my lifelong reflection and desire to acquire this type of love.  It seemed right inside to search for this kind and to recognize it in others.

Armed with this new understanding I remember thinking how awesome it was for these teenagers to have this as the name of their club and to use that definition as their charter.  It changed how I initially viewed these long haired, rock and roll loving, MJ smoking, bell bottom wearing folk.  That was a good moment of clarity for me.  Not to judge a book by its cover.

Ironically, I was too young and never set foot inside the Agape House but I remembered wanting to.... wanting to be part of a group of people that believed in that way of loving.

Recently, after experiencing a considerable amount of Agape love from family and particular friends I dipped back into that pond to remind myself of this interesting word.  In some translations, agape is actually translated as "charity". 

Paul gave the best clues on the subject of Charity that I know--which gets to the "how" we love actually makes a difference point of view:

3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

Interesting... it isn't enough to just do good works.... it has something to do with the motivation of our heart.  We can do many "good" things, but if we are doing it for the wrong reasons, then maybe it isn't Charity, it is something else.

4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.

Wouldn't it be cool if there were Agape Houses all over the place.....?  In our own neighborhoods and homes?  To be part of that club and to have all the right motivation and be that well accepted and understood and loved.....That would be amazing!

Someone invited me into one recently... Finally, after all these years, I am now a member of one... the dues are paid with a different kind of currency, and the benefits are amazing! 

Is it time you invited someone into yours?