New Grass.... Second Chances

Ick.... I know... patchy grass that just seems to keep taking over more and more of the lawn.  This has been happening to a section of my lawn over the past year.  There is definitely a powerful disease afoot.  I have tried sprays, powders, more water, less water, fertilizer, man-made and organic chemicals.  It has been very elusive and I have even tried throwing sod over it.....uh huh....no go.  I have gone to the so called experts at the landscape outfits..... I am sure I just didn't execute the formula with enough discipline.... I think I have, but with no results to show...  I have decided I have possessed and vexed grass and that it is to make me suffer for some stupid 'sin' of the past.  I think it actually knows that I am at my wits end and have even uttered a few colorful metaphors that would cause a bit of a "oh" look on those that think they know me.     

I have even looked heavenwards on a few occasions wondering if God is paying attention to my plight! No real praying has occurred yet, 'cause that would actually mean I would have to really get serious on my end of things and I am not sure my lawn deserves my "best!"  Hah!......Rather, I resemble something more like a dismal victim-like lawn loser hoping some angelic being will descend and cause a mighty intervention.....I mean, shouldn't this be on the top of God's list of things to worry about??

When it comes to the physically hard things in life, I am not the "long view" guy typically.  So, this being a longer term bur under the saddle I have resorted to becoming comfortable with discomfort--a poor man's excuse for not dealing straight up with stuff......

....... until recently.

Thank goodness for small moments of inspiration that come when least expected.  It was the last week before school started.... All my kids were home, which is becoming less and less of a regular occurrence..... I started to wonder what they might be learning from me before they go off to their respective university and school.   It came to me that if any of them had been watching me like a fly on the proverbial garden wall this past year, they would have given me a C- grade at best for my "lawn" efforts.   That started to bug me....With that context and in that moment, I girded up my loins and had a little self talk --  I concluded that I hadn't 'done' my all... I hadn't brought my best.  I was justifying my efforts as "good enough" -- the truth is that I had not exhausted all possibilities, even though my lesser self had convinced my better self that I had. Justification, what a powerful disease....  I thought about all the life's lessons had crossed our families' path.... all the learning moments, the little metaphors that we use to teach our kids......others......and my own self.   It took me longer, but I was startled at the sudden realization of almost wasting a perfect metaphor -- to learn from and then to maybe share with others.  Stupid grass.....now I had to really buckle down and get serious......yes even "grow up."   Dang, why do I suck at that so bad?  Being mature can really kick my backside more than I would like to confess.  

I decide to do the whole 9 yards... pull out the yellow grass, prep the soil, rake, remove debris, soften the earth, sprinkle the mixture of fescue (cool technial grass term!), fertilizer, and peat moss in each spot.  Even the tossing gesture was practiced and rehearsed...Ha!  I then did the careful light spray of water at the right time of day and night.  Never letting it get dry...always moist.  I watered with more intent, more hope, more earnest.  I didn't play the silly game of thinking there would be grass in 24 hours... the quick fix syndrome we play in our lives.... "See God, I just did one good deed, where is the blessing??? I steeled myself to not even pretend to look or expect any result until 10 days had passed.  Just do the routine and don't miss.... every day.......

On day 11 I just finally let myself just take a peek not expecting anything..... I couldn't believe it!!  There were these little green pokies that were stretching like an inch tall out of the ground....holy moly!  I could not believe it.  These are things that do not happen to me.... not in this realm.  I turned into an 8 year old that just got new sneakers!!  Look everyone... look how fast I can run!  Look at how powerful I am ...... Look how great I am ......Look at what I can do....Look at me....Look at me!



And just as I was beating my chest I felt the familiar climb of that silly lump.....up into my throat.  Yes, the enormity hit me....   

Look everyone.....look how fast He will respond, when we do our part......   Look at the powerful way He teaches..... Look how long He will wait... for me.... and for you, to make your way over to that winning lane.... Look how He respects our choice so much that He will let us stumble, tumble and fall for a while, until we decide to do right things right and then He never leaves us without the lesson, so subtle, simple and beautiful....Look at how great God is...!  Look at what He can do.....Look at Him.....Look to Him. 

I never expected new grass to help me learn about second chances.   Our lawns are like our lives after all.. we have been given a plot to take care of in this life.  We tend to it.  We weed, we water, we care, we toil, we prune, cut and trim, we grow, we reap, we imagine, we feel, we create, we share with others.  Lawns, like life, need us.  We neglect and they shrivel.  If we don't learn to care for something else besides ourselves, they die.... and maybe in God's infinite and simple wisdom, we need them maybe even more......  Once we right ourselves and do the work, lawns almost always come back, they respond like soldiers to the rigor and routine.  Very cool.  

My life is my lawn...I know my life and all those in it definitely deserve my best... why shouldn't my lawn then?.... I have had the brown spots, the diseases, the yellow thatchy grass that spikes.  I wouldn't be here without second chances.  I wouldn't be here without new grass.  All of you have been part of that journey... thank you for never giving up on me. I never will on you......

So...back to my kids... Never give up... keep trying.  You will never fail.