Reunited

 

I have always been a fan of reunions.  Typically they have been centered on family, but there have been others... friendships, school, and mission reunions.  Having lived overseas and moving around a lot meant that I was in the constant business of making and leaving friends.  I always felt a deep pang of loss when goodbye time came.  Those feelings would often linger for months and sometimes years. I had powerful saudades or longing feelings to see friends again.

I believe there is magic in reunions.... I know not all of them are perfect.  Some I hear are downright horrific, especially the High School ones.  I thankfully have been very blessed to have had really positive experiences with every single one I have attended.

It is because of my affinity for them that I re-watched a band reunion on YouTube recently.  Familiar feelings surfaced and I remembered back when I first watched it and some thoughts came back....

It was 2004, and I was on the road, traveling for work.  I can't remember where, but I was in my hotel channel surfing and I came across this show on VH1 called Bands Reunited.  I was super dubious because VH1 had stopped producing great music videos for a while and they had a bunch of not so great reality shows.  

I  had never heard of the show but quickly got the the general idea, that being this host would travel around tracking down members of these 80's bands that had broken up to see if they would be interested in a one time reunion and then to play a couple of their hits in a live concert setting to a small audience.  If each band member was up for it, they would sign the record album and the host would then track down the next person...... rinse and repeat until everyone had agreed to meet and reunite.  

In this episode the host was trying to reunite the band Berlin which my caught my interest because I really liked Berlin during the height of the 80's music scene.  They weren't my favorite band, but I did like some of their hits and of course "Take My Breath Away" put them on the map because it was in the first Top Gun movie.  My guess is most people never would have heard of Berlin without that single.

So, I became more and more interested in how this guy would take a camera crew and surprise each band member and put them on the spot to see if they would sit down and have a chat about the band etc....  It was very interesting to see how in Berlin's case 3 of the original band members were doing completely different things than music anymore..... one was running a small software company and another was working at an small airplane piloting school.  It was fun to see the different reactions to the VH1 guy.  Some were excited and others were immediately doubtful. During each band members' chat with the host they would go back in time and talk about the ups and downs of the band. Ultimately the topic of why they had broken up was addressed. It was clear that there were tensions and often they said that they might consider a reunion only if they got this particular one band member to say "yes".  So, there was this pent up anticipation to see if the main guy would be ok reuniting or not. In the case with Berlin, the tough one said yes and would reunite. So they were on!  Yay!

Fast forward to a little studio in LA where each band member showed up and went into a room.  I was very curious to see how each would react to each other as they all showed up.  It was heartwarming to see the smiles, embraces and hugs they each dealt out to each other after so many years of being apart.  I wasn't prepared for the level of emotion that was expressed and that I felt watching them literally "reunite."  The host then would have them all talk about what it was like to be in the band, to tour and ultimately what lead to the break up.  They were all so open and honest and they all acknowledged their own part of being immature and having too much ego among other things.  They were actually processing their feelings and did this amazing job of resolving this long overdue conflict they felt.  It was really incredible to see how in one instant, they all remembered who they were and why there were great together.

Commercial break.....

Have you ever experienced this feeling of remembering who you were?  I have and maybe that is why this show appealed to me so much.  What I didn't realize was that with each subsequent move and goodbye I made throughout my life was like leaving a piece of me behind.....like a memory.  I can't quite explain it very well, but all I know is that when I went back to my first high school reunion which was like 13 years post graduation, I will never forget walking into that Marriott Hotel and seeing so many familiar faces and friends altogether at once.  With each embrace I literally felt myself becoming whole again....like all the pieces I had left in Brazil came snapping back into place all over again.  I had no idea that was going to happen.  My intent was not to go to the reunion to find myself, rather see and celebrate friends and talk good times.  The reality is that I had an entirely new perspective and picture of myself and I liked it..... I liked me with them, my friends.  It was almost like I was a better me...realizing that I was remembering who I was.  And I knew it wasn't just because of just one or two good friends.  No,  I needed all of these people to remind me and to see me as they did, like they did back in high school.  

I can't honestly characterize the experience or feeling as a religious experience, but it was very profound and it left a deep permanent impression.  I realized that I hadn't quite found my own rhythm and footing despite having finally settled in the U.S.  I was still this Third Culture Kid trying to adapt to his passport country which wasn't very easy.  I had put a few unresolved feelings in cold storage because I didn't have the tools to help myself transition well.  The reunion was like putting on familiar clothing that fit so comfortably well.  Familiar again with my own skin.

So, if this resonates with you at all, keep that in mind as we return to Berlin's reunion....

So, here were these band members, who has spent years together in a very 'family-like' environment, traveling all over performing and dealing with lots of pressure at a very young age.  In some ways I remember thinking it surely is a miracle that any band survives more than a couple of years because of the intensity of the closeness, the huge pressure to deliver hits, having to perform night after night to please their fans  and then dealing with instant fame which usually is too overwhelming for young people. 

In Berlin's case, it was astounding to that in just a few seconds all the reasons why they broke up suddenly seemed meaningless and melted away with a few simple hugs, big smiles and warm embraces.  In this episode and in others a common theme from band members that talk about an feelings of closure that takes place amongst them..... Closing old wounds that somehow managed to always stay open through the years. It was clear to see that the band Berlin definitely wanted and needed closure.  They wanted to feel the love and familiarity again, but they just needed the right catalyst to make that happen.  They just didn't seem to be able to do it on their own... they needed a bit of help. It occurred to me how beautiful it was......to have closure, to let go of unhelpful feelings, to shed the burden and weight of so many years.  It was amazing to it happen in real time during these reunions.

Another common comment shared was "I never thought this would every happen again... in this lifetime."  That too struck an emotional chord.  I remember wondering if the producers had any idea of just how instrumental they would be in inviting in incredible amounts of psychological and spiritual healing vs thinking of the commercial reasons of getting a band back together.   Whether intentional or accidental, they made magic happen aside from hearing nostalgic 80's hits again. Cosmic....! These people were not your stereotypical church faring folk...no, they led pretty hard and raucous lives on the road.  All the vices you can imagine they immersed themselves in and yet when the right time came, they saw and accepted each other as-is and shared a lot of love and caring. It hurt good to watch and it was easy to get caught up in the joy of their reunion.

Two years ago, here in Daybreak (The world's best HOA) Berlin came and performed right down the street.  It was so awesome to see the band together again, singing those same hits. The audience was bigger than normal. The songs were amazing and they still had that unique sound.  At some point during their performance, it hit me.... They wouldn't be performing all these years later if that reunion hadn't happened on VH1.  Wow!  It was like they all had a second wind.... because they had a second chance to do what they loved doing together.  

If this post sparks any interest here is the link. Check it out...

Through the miracle of social media I have had so many miraculous reunion moments with all my previous good bye friends.... Those associations mean a great deal to me.  They fuel me and give me fire at times.  There is deep meaning in strong connections.  We are all connected together and I love that.

Of the many goodbyes I have had to say goodbye to my brother and both my parents.  I feel the haunting longing and the burden of having to be patient for that reunion.  Through the miracle of Jesus Christ's atoning sacrifice, I know that reunion will take place again.  It is clear and calming to me to not only have that hope but the confidence and assurance that it will take place.  That the joyous embrace of family will wet my eyes, lift my heart and spiral my spirit upwards forever... and then I will truly know and remember who I really am all over again and that will be truly amazing.  

......And just think... We will never have to plan for another reunion again!