A few months ago I went to the Burning Man exhibit in Washington D.C. What a interesting and weird deal that is.... There is seemingly no real purpose and its mission seems pretty aimless....people gathering to co-exist, smoke pot, be hot in the desert together and then burn stuff.
We have raging fires burning out of control in California. All kinds of everything burning to piles of ash and rubble. Pure devastation. The loss of home, communities, and lives was difficult to watch and comprehend.
The current political climate is scorching.... I can't bear to watch the news anymore... Everyone is screaming and screeching at each other in the worst kind of ways... There is no room for rhetoric from either side. Just continual embarrassing unprofessional diatribes looking for standing ovations from splintered special interest groups. The blazing moral divide in our society is widening everyday and what is incredulous is that we all see it but don't seem to want to close the gap.....like at all! What might look like a "phase" in our collective global journey, is morphing into the new permanent future that seems to celebrate the certainty of catastrophic contention--the new cement of our society.
Diversity and Inclusion awareness is sweeping across corporate America like a plague. What should be a set of noble principles piercing people's awareness such as unconscious bias and fairness is now threatening the very principles it stands for... the pendulum has swung so far that now no one can utter or voice an opinion because it will inevitably offend a #metoo-er to such an intensely inflamed state that there is no room for apologies, concession, or mutual discussion.... just an enraged outcry for justice as if the person has been wronged their entire lives. Those that bark the loudest don't really even want a solution... because a solution would mean that there would be a mid-point....yes, even a meeting place where two people could meet, have coffee, share experiences, find empathy for each other's position and then see how and if one could help the other. No! We can't have any of that nonsense! The idea of compromise or consideration for anothers' idea is entirely unacceptable anymore. Why would either side lower or subject themselves to such a deplorable level? .... Oh no! This could never happen.... Any shift would mean "losing" or giving in, or selling one's soul... It is all or nothing now.
Calm cannot exist in this new environment. How about a hopeful reach for peace you might ask? No, not possible. The justification for one's individual's position is the new truth of our day. Whatever I decide you have to accept....Tolerance has been redefined..... If you aren't on my side, then you must be done away with.... You have no position, no say, no space in "my" world.....I don't want you to just "understand" me and no, I don't want you to just "disagree" with me but still "respect" me... I actually want you to not exist anymore, because that would probably be better.
Is this what you see? 10 years ago I saw it occasionally, today I see it in front of me all day long, no matter where I turn, politics, sports, entertainment, work, TV, and social media.... it is everywhere. Everyone deserves an "oscar", not really for the highest level of performance, rather for other reasons. I should get a standing ovation because I identify myself as a 6'4" blonde woman despite being a 5'10" brown haired male. I am convinced that in the very very near future being a heterosexual will be viewed as bizarre and strange and practically abnormal. What is normal is no longer.....what is morally wrong seems right and what seems righteous is skewed into something that seems wrong. I am constantly reminded that what I thought was very strange about the citizens of Panem in the Hunger Games is actually being personified more frequently in real life......not just in Hollywood, but all over.....at an accelerated pace.
What bothers me the most is the hatred factor. Disrespectful behavior is not honorable or acceptable. But flat out hatred? I thought that was only found in truly exceptional cases that pointed to a certain known handful of named people throughout history.....Nope...not any more. I know people personally that would rather have someone be wiped off the face of the earth than even have to listen or talk to them about something contrary to their own views. I find that completely crazy and incomprehensible.
..... So where does that leave me? Do I bury my head in the sand and hold my tongue? Do I pretend to "go along" with stuff? Am I willing to lose friends? Can I still wear my BYU hoodie outside of Utah without fear of what that will provoke? To be honest, I don't always know the answers to these questions. In an age where religion is viewed as one of the most intolerant of all institutions I find myself actually looking more closely there to hold onto the principles of my own faith and listen to what my conscience tells me feel is right. I have been tossed a bit in this whirlwind.... I have had to shift my feet to find more solid footing. I have had new doubts surface for the first time ever....... Where I thought I was strong I have learned I haven't been after all. The noise has forced me to re-evaluate and connect to those things that I know to be true and am searching for ways to grasp onto them more tightly. Maybe all of this is helpful after all.....to cause the self reflection needed to make the necessary changes.
Yes... the world is on fire and it can't seem to rage high or strong enough. I fear this fire will leave a more lasting and deeper devastation than anything the California fires did or what Trump says or does.
The good news is that I am learning a lot about myself and where to find the answers. I am so blessed to have friends and family to help me. I just know I can't and won't let go of hope and will find a way to persist through the smoke and heat.
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