Should I be Afraid?

Is the last question Anthony Hopkins asks Brad Pitt, playing the personified role of "Death" in the movie "Meet Joe Black".   

Death answers: 

"Not a man like you."

I wouldn't say this is the easiest movie to watch. The story line caught my imagination even beyond that of the performances.  The idea of it was fascinating.  That this man, near the twilight of life, has this unique opportunity to see death....his death, before it happens.  He moves elegantly forward, not knowing what will happen, but he helps us see what that process might look like for us. He reflects and ponders.... he quickly starts to prioritize and figures out what is most important: His family, and he gathers them in..... He looks at them differently... right into their eyes with a sense of determined purpose.  He expresses uncharacteristic gratitude to each of them.  He also at times shows the frustration that would naturally accompany the moments when he realizes that he can't control it ....what is coming.  In life,  he is a captain of industry, yet when faced with the reality of death he is..... just like us.  I marvel at the way he takes stock of his life.  The way he counsels his daughter.  The words he chooses... so simple and so profound. 

He tries to explain love to Death... He can't seem to make him understand.  With great passion he tries to describe his definition of love after Death asks him: "What is it?" 

William responds: "Trust, responsibility, taking the weight for your choices and feelings, and spending the rest of your life living up to them.  And above all, not hurting the object of your love."

Death continues:  "So that's what love is to William Parrish?  

"Multiply it by infinity, and take it to the depth of forever, and you will still have barely a glimpse of what I am talking about."  

 Is the response.....

I love the  choices he makes.....They all seem so wise. We watch him navigate through little tests that Death continually poses to him.  There is a moment when William challenges death and succeeds in making his point, as if to see through almighty death! In the end, he graciously, and so honorably makes his rounds, readying himself.... like cleaning up little piles of papers here and there that tend to get neglected in the busyness of life. 

Funny, life's little piles aren't really paper are they..... No, .... they are people.  

So, he doesn't wait for the foreboding tick of his life's clock.  He takes ownership of his own final moments with his family, individually--one by one.  He gives them the gift of that longing and knowing gaze....The look that causes each to notice....and wonder, fleetingly....but he helps them by releasing them back to the "party"....which is a metaphor for their lives.  He goes and finds Death, on his own terms.  He is at peace, he knows what is about to happen... he is calm.  Yet, he asks nonetheless...."Should I be afraid?"  The key question we all want to know the answer for ourselves.....Death honors him with his reply above.  

My brother Roland  didn't wait for the foreboding tick of his life's clock.  He owned his own final moments.  He spent time individually with each family member.  He gave them the gift of that longing and knowing gaze.  And then he went and found Death on his own terms despite that Death called on him first.... When asked "Are you ready?"  He replied with a resolute...."Yes" and then he went.... 

Should I be afraid?  If only I could imagine hearing the same words in response...... 

It is worth reaching for.