The Perks of being a Wallflower

I felt like sharing something that struck me like lightning tonight. I was watching this movie with my kids (yes...on clearplay) called "The Perks of being a Wallflower". I think it is very cool. The script, the acting and the direction is very very good. The music was very 80's which of course always makes me smile. There is a part in the film where the "wallflower" character asks his thoughtful and concerned English teacher: "Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?" The English teacher replied:

"People accept the love they think they deserve"

I had to stop the DVD and write this down.... There is nothing new about it, I have heard 1,000 things that resemble the intent, but only this time did it hit and then sink in...... like thick paint running down a wall.

I will have to process this for a while because I know there is something both you and I can learn from this. But only after some reflection and honest self-evaluation.....

Sometimes I feel like I have so much love to give — but when others try to give it back I close up. I resist. And I don't know why.

Why do I do that? Am I not worthy? Not good enough? Did I make too many mistakes? Can't forgive myself? Is that it — I decided somewhere that I should just get less?

And is that the same wall between me and what Jesus already offered? Is that the difference — believing in Him versus actually believing Him? Believing that I deserve what He already paid for?

Maybe. I don't know. But I feel like there's something there.

What would it take to lower those walls? I'm not sure I know yet. Part of me worries that accepting love too freely feels arrogant — like I'm claiming something I haven't earned. But maybe that's exactly the wrong way to see it.

Nobody earns it. That's the whole point.

So maybe it starts small. A quiet "yes" when someone offers kindness. Letting it in without immediately explaining why I don't deserve it. And each time I do that — each time I accept rather than deflect — I think I'm not just becoming more open. I think I'm actually practicing faith. Trusting that what Christ said about my worth is true, even when I don't feel it yet.

That feels like the better destination. Not just a man with fewer walls — but a man who believes more deeply.